Maybe if she left, Liam and Hammer would finally repair their friendship. That would make them happy someday, and then she could say she’d done at least one thing right.
Of course Raine recognized that running was an old pattern of hers, one both men had chided her about. But in this case, she just didn’t see any way for the healing to begin if she was constantly underfoot to provide the friction between them. Besides, if she had to look at them every day and know they’d never be hers, it would eventually destroy her.
Leaving was best.
That would probably seem unfathomable to Liam. He’d been nudging her to leave Shadows with him since he’d collared her because it would be good for her. She hadn’t agreed and had refused to go. But everything was different now.
As much as she hated to leave her home, she’d do it for both men. For their friendship, which had deteriorated drastically since they’d torn apart the kitchen on Thanksgiving. She didn’t know exactly what had happened, but the tension was tangible and thick between them now. Ugly. The blame for that rested squarely on her shoulders.
Pushing aside dread of the unknown she’d face once she left, Raine grabbed a suitcase from her closet. She had a little money in the bank. She’d find a new place and a new job. After all, she had a college degree and some accounting skills. She was good with people. She’d been an office manager…of sorts. Somehow, someway, she’d figure it out.
Blotting her face with a tissue, Raine sniffled back tears. They were useless. Liam and Hammer couldn’t change what they needed, and she couldn’t change who she was. It had been destined to end this way, she supposed.
Desolation hollowed her as she tossed most of her belongings into the suitcase. She packed some of her favorite pictures: Hammer dressed as the devil, opposite her angel, last Halloween. She and Liam at their collaring ceremony. One she’d taken of the two men clinking beer mugs the night Liam had first arrived from New York. All happy times. All smiles. So unlike now.
Raine sighed and zipped her suitcase, scanning her room. Sad that she’d packed up most of her life in fifteen minutes. All she had to do was load her car and drive off.
Wait, it wasn’t her car. Hammer had bought it for her. The title was in his name. And she’d accepted the gift because it made her feel special to him. Stupid. The smarter move would have been to stand on her own two feet. She sure as hell refused to steal from him now.
She fished her car keys from her purse, along with the keys to Shadows, and left them on her dresser. He’d find them at some point.
Dismissing the thought, she dug out her phone, Googled a quick number, and made the saddest phone call of her life. The voice on the other end said she had ten minutes left, but why wait? Why take a chance that Liam or Hammer would come looking for her? It was probably cowardly to just disappear. But so much easier. She’d make sure they knew she was all right and make them promise to let her go.
She backed out of the room, taking one last sweeping look around. Not that it mattered; this place was permanently imprinted in her memories. On her heart. Just like the men who lived here.
No one walked the hall as she slipped out of her room. No one confronted her as she made her way past Liam’s door, past Hammer’s. She shoved her way into the alley, peering out at the overcast day. Raine couldn’t believe this was the last time she’d be at Shadows. Everything had happened so fast. The moment felt so surreal. But she wasn’t going to wake up, rub her eyes, and realize this had all been a dream.
Standing in the alley, the wind tugged at her clothes and made her nose cold. It was almost December. Her wet hair filled her with a chill. She probably should have packed a coat, but the mild discomfort was nothing compared to the torment dismembering her heart.
Right on schedule, her taxi arrived. She turned off her phone and shoved it into her purse, approaching the vehicle. This was it. She swiped fresh tears from her face.
“Where to?” the gruff cabbie asked.
Good question. Someplace familiar—for now. She’d figure out where to head from there.
Raine rattled off the name of a drugstore a few blocks from where she’d grown up. It was in the center of town. Once there, she could begin to settle everything else. The town was relatively quiet, growing so she could find a job and easy to navigate if it took her a while to buy another car. She wouldn’t feel safe there—she only truly did under Hammer’s roof—but she’d closed that chapter of her life, so moving on…