Cerberus runs off to take care of business and Noah and I walk quietly along the beach. The wind is cold, like last night, and when we get to the edge of the house I glance up at the cliffs and shudder.
What I did was selfish.
If I’d succeeded, I’d have broken their hearts twice.
“I saw you,” Noah says.
I turn to him, thinking he saw me last night, not sure how to explain.
“This morning.” He doesn’t quite look at me when he says that part and I realize what he means.
“Oh.” I’d slipped back to my room when I thought no one was in the hallway. Not that I was hiding, I just didn’t want to make things awkward or difficult. “Oh,” I say again. “Is that why…” I glance at the windows I know are Cristiano’s office windows.
Noah nods, eyes cast to the sea watching Cerberus carry a big stick out of the water.
“I…it’s strange being back here. Last night was really hard.”
He turns to me, wraps his hand around mine. I freeze, remembering Samuel. Remembering what happened to him. But then I tell myself that he was a liar. Even if he didn’t deserve what he got.
I look up at Noah and I swear I can still see the little boy from all those years ago. We couldn’t understand each other at all, and I wouldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t. Joseph had put me with Noah, told us to play as if that would fix everything.
“What happened to Joseph?” I ask.
Noah’s expression darkens. “He’s dead.”
“Good.”
“Listen, Mara, if Dante hurt—”
“Dante didn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t. He saved my life.” In so many ways.
“If he—
“Stop. He didn’t. I don’t want to talk about this.”
He studies me as if to be sure and then finally nods. Cerberus drops the giant stick at our feet for Noah to throw.
I stand back, smiling at them, liking the simplicity of this, us on the beach playing with a dog.
But that simplicity feels so far off for me. Like I’m an imposter here in this house, this life. They all are in a way. There is nothing simple about the lives of anyone in this house.
32
Dante
My brother and I haven’t fought like this in years. By the time we slow down, Cristiano’s office is a mess of shattered glass, a laptop in two pieces, a crack in the window where my head collided with the glass. It’s that that stops us.
“Tell me is that it?” I ask finally. Because what the fuck? “You’re worried David’s genes got into me and I —“
“Fuck. Christ! No! Never! Just… fuck!” Cristiano steps back and slams his fist into the wall instead of my face.
I feel the slow trail of blood along my temple and when he looks at me, he shakes his head, takes a tissue from his desk, and holds it against the cut.
“No, brother. That’s not what I think. What I ever thought,” he says.
I nod, taking the tissue as I turn to look out at the sea.
After the rain last night, the day is overcast, the water a deep charcoal. I run my hand through my hair, remember what she’d said about monsters. Remember what I’d said when I’d still had some fucking self-control. Am I that? Am I no better?
“But fuck, Dante. What did you think you were doing?”
“It’s not like you think.”
“Then how is it?” he asks.
I turn to him. He’s worried. I see it behind the fury in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. “Explain to me how it is.”
Fuck.
I look away from my brother to watch Noah and Mara from the window. Cristiano comes to stand beside me. I’m not sure he understands this thing with Mara yet. I’m not sure I do. It’s too strange. Too fated.
“She’s easy with him,” I say. “Different than she is with me or most men as far as I’ve seen.”
“He’s not threatening to her.”
“All men are threatening to her.”
“Not him. She must remember something about him from when she was little.”
Noah wraps his hand around hers and they stop to talk. A tightness builds in my gut at the sight of it.
“Relax,” Cristiano says, hand on my shoulder. We watch them silently.
“I’m taking her back tomorrow.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“I think bringing her here was a bad one. And she won’t stay here without me. I don’t think she can, and I won’t risk her going up to those cliffs again. I can’t.”
Cristiano nods. “Lenore will be upset.”
“I’ll talk to her. She’ll understand. It’s better for Mara. And once everything is sorted, once Felix is dead, things will be different. She can start to heal. I don’t think she can do that until he’s gone because she isn’t convinced he won’t get to her.”
“Dante,” Cristiano says, and I turn to find him studying me. I grit my teeth and wait as I take in the look in his eyes. See how he’s processing, understanding what I can’t quite say. Because what I want to do is keep her. But it’s the worst fucking idea I’ve ever had.