“You choose to stay, though, don’t you?” I ask.
“I will always stay. It’s who I am. I am nothing without what I do.” I shake my head at his words. “You don’t believe it?”
“No, I don’t. I thought when I was younger that I was destined to stay with the people I hung around … drop kicks doing anything to get by, but I wanted a change, so change is what I did.” I shrug. “If you want something badly enough, you’ll do it.”
“From what I gather, your change put you in another position where someone else had control over you.” He isn’t wrong, but he also isn’t completely correct either.
“I loved him, you know that, right? Maybe not toward the end, but I did love him. And he wasn’t all bad. We had good moments as well as bad ones. That’s what makes a marriage,” I tell him. “How are you going to be when you’re married?” I ask. “I’m guessing that’s a part of it as well.”
“It is. Marriage and a child. A boy to carry on the family name.”
“What if she doesn’t give you a boy?”
“We try until she does.”
“You know we don’t live in the past anymore, right? Women are just as powerful as men,” I state, crossing my arms in front of me.
“They think they are,” he argues back.
I get up from the bed, still with a towel wrapped around to keep me covered and walk to his side of the mattress.
His side.
It’s not his side.
I scream at myself for even thinking that.
I’m not as hopeless as I once was. I understand my power, understand who I am, and I would never let a man treat me like I was treated by Dillan again. You live and you learn. I see powerful women every day at work. Men stare at them, but the women pay them no attention.
I want to be like them.
I feel like in this moment I could almost get whatever I want out of Keir. I know it’s wrong, but it’s not going to stop me from trying.
Keir’s gaze tracks my movements while I saunter my way over to him, and he sits up straighter as I get closer. His hungry eyes take me in, and I like the way he makes me feel as if I am the powerful one, the queen, and he nothing but my pawn.
That’s the reason why he won’t leave me alone, is it not?
Stepping closer, I grasp the top of my towel and slowly pull it off, but not enough to where it drops and shows my body.
“Are you saying that I’m not a powerful woman? That I couldn’t run an empire?” I ask.
He bites his bottom lip before he answers, “I don’t know, could you?”
I mean, he’s probably right, not about the woman part, more so about the fact that I’m unsure if I could do what he does. But that’s only because I don’t want to tear my soul to shreds because I have a feeling his soul is in a million pieces. Maybe he thinks I can replace it, or fix it somehow, but I’ve got news for him, I can't.
Some things are made to be broken, and he is one of them.
Some things can’t be fixed even with heavy-duty glue.
I can’t imagine him as a normal functioning human with a desk job. When I look at him, all I see is radiating power and a man who stares at me with admiration, but most of all hunger. I worked it out that those confused and angry looks he gives me aren’t because he hates me, but because he hates how I make him feel.
“I’m sure Paige could,” I say, pulling my towel back in place and going into my closet to get changed. I need to go out and get groceries, do normal things, try to get my mind off this man.
He laughs as I grab a pullover dress and slide it on, then drop my towel. I get some panties and pull them on. When I turn around, he is standing there in the doorway, completely dressed.
“Where are we going?”
“Groceries. But …” I look down at my watch, “… it’s time you go home.” I smile at him, grab my phone, and walk out. He follows but says no more. When we get outside, I wave goodbye, and he stands there watching me.
“Sailor …” I turn back around at my name. “I think you could rule a fucking kingdom if you tried.” He gets into his car, and I can’t help the smile that gets stuck on my face and won’t leave.
“Hey … Phillip?” I ask. I’m pretty sure that’s his name.
“Yes, Miss.” He hands me a note, which I have to put the groceries I am holding down to take, and then turns and walks off.