“Noah is a hell of a boy, Vivi. You’ve done a great job with him. We spent yesterday together.”
“I did a terrible job,” she said quietly, ashamed all over again at how she’d fallen apart without Dallas.
“Don’t,” he said. “We’ve lost enough time. No regrets. You think I don’t kick my ass for not seeing you when you came to visit? I was trying so damned hard to be noble.”
“Still, I gave up.”
He smiled down at her, pushed the sweat-dampened hair out of her eyes, and kissed her again. “And I gave in. None of it matters anymore.”
She was about to ask him something else when there was a knock at the door.
“That will be Dad,” Vivi Ann said. “Wondering why the hell there’s no breakfast.”
She climbed out of bed, put on her robe, and went to the door, opening it.
Her whole family was standing there, smiling at her. Well, almost her whole family. Her father wasn’t there. The pain of that pinched a little, reminded her of things she’d rather forget, a relationship that had been lost or never formed. Even now she wasn’t sure.
“Hey, Mom,” Noah said, drawing her gaze back to the people standing in front of her.
She looked at Winona first, loving her so much she couldn’t hold it all. “You’re my hero,” she said, losing it just a little. She surged forward and hugged her sister fiercely, whispering, “Thank you.” When she stepped back, they were both crying.
Dallas came up beside her, sliding a hand possessively around her waist. The movement was like a release switch. They all came together at once, crying and hugging. And when it was over, Vivi Ann found herself standing in the grass of Water’s Edge, holding her husband’s hand, staring through tears at this family of hers—the Greys—and the land that defined them. From here, she could see the mighty evergreens shooting up behind the cabin, their roots driven deep into the fertile soil, and the rolling green fields, dormant now in this cold autumn month, but ready to grow again when the spring sunlight returned. Below the barn lay the house where she had grown up, a girl among girls, knowing always how it felt to belong. It was something she would pass on, not just to her son, but to her husband, who didn’t yet understand that he belonged here, on this land, in this place. It would be their gift to him, the thing this generation of Greys passed on to the next: the knowledge that it wasn’t property lines or markers on a man’s land that outlined the boundaries of a home. It was who you were that mattered, how you stayed together in hard times, the people you held in your heart.
You probably don’t even know how you saved me with your stupid questions, Mrs. I.
Who am I? That was the one that got me. I didn’t know in ninth grade who I was or who I wanted to be and I sure as hell didn’t want to ask. But now I do.
When my dad came home, everything changed. Almost as soon as we got to Water’s Edge, people started showing up. First, it was Myrtle and Cissy Michaelian and her dad.
We all just stood there for a minute. It was like some weird, quiet game of Red Rover, Red Rover, with them by the truck and us by the arena. Then Myrtle walked up to my dad and said: I was wrong, I guess.
It’s okay, he said real quiet.
I saw what it meant to Cissy’s grandmother, his forgiving her, and for the first time in my life I knew how it felt to be proud of my dad.
Then he went over to Cissy and said, So you’re the girl my boy loves.
And Cissy nodded and started to cry and said, I hope I am.
You started it all, dad said. Thank you.
After that, Cissy came over to me and kissed me and it was like it all hadn’t happened, only it had, and I was glad because right then, with all of that going on, I thought: this is who I am.
I’m a Grey and a Raintree and this land I never cared about is where I belong, and this town isn’t what I thought. Oh, some people don’t believe in my dad or me—and maybe they never will, but that’s okay. Because we believe, and we’re here together. And lots of people came over to tell my dad welcome home. Except grandpa of course. That really pissed me off, but when I said something to dad, he just smiled kinda and said, I get it. Cut the old man some slack. So I’ll try.
And that night, when everyone had gone, and it was just mom and dad and me in our house, I looked out the window, and I saw Renegade staring up at us. Dad came up beside me and put his arm around me and said, I thought about you every night, Noah. Every night.
That’s when mom came up and stood beside us and said, What are my boys doing over here by themselves?
And I said the only thing I could think of: waiting for you.
That’s done now, my mom said. This family’s waited long enough. Who wants to play cards?
And my dad said, Yeah. It’s about time I taught my son to play poker.
His son.
That was when I had my answer, when I finally knew who I was.