“Me, either,” said Aurora.
“I do,” Vivi Ann said softly. She almost sounded regretful when she said, “See the way he’s looking at her?”
“Why doesn’t he love us that way?” Winona asked the question, but she knew they all were thinking it. Of course, there was no answer.
“Where did you get the picture?” Aurora asked.
“You should have been a prosecutor,” Winona muttered. “You don’t miss a thing.”
“Except my husband’s affair,” Aurora answered, taking a sip. “I actually brought the woman muffins when she was sick.”
Vivi Ann slung an arm around Aurora. “He was a prick.”
“And boring,” Winona added.
“Don’t forget hairless,” Aurora said, finally smiling. She took another sip. “So, where did you get the photo?”
“Luke.”
No one responded right away. Winona understood why. Luke was like a forbidden pool in a fairy tale; it might be beautiful, but there was danger beneath the surface of the water.
Aurora knew to say nothing, to let Vivi Ann answer first.
Winona should have done the same—waited—but the silence unnerved her. “He came to see me after the hearing. He’d read about what was going on and thought I might need a friend.”
“He’s a nice guy,” Vivi Ann finally said, looking at Winona. “Do you still love him?”
Winona didn’t know how to answer that. “Compared to you and Dallas . . .” She shrugged, unable to find the words.
“It’s not a competitive sport,” Vivi Ann said, touching her arm. “Love just . . . is.”
“It’s too late anyway. We missed our chance. Or maybe we never had one. I don’t know.”
Vivi Ann’s look was pure sadness. “You don’t know about too late. If there’s even a chance, Win, you take it. For all the pain with Dallas, I thank God I loved him.”
Winona put down her coffee and lay back on the blanket, staring up through the skeletal tree at the Milky Way. “I’m afraid,” she said quietly. She didn’t think she’d even said those words out loud before. She’d always been afraid that simply naming her weakness would compound it, but now she needed her sisters to help her through.
“Fear is the mind-killer,” Vivi Ann said, and even in the darkness, Winona could tell that her sister was smiling.
“Great. I bare my soul and you give me geek-girl sci-fi psychobabble.”
Vivi Ann laughed. “Yeah, but it’s great sci-fi. Legendary. And it’s also true. You can’t go through life afraid.”
“You’re one to talk,” Aurora said.
“Touché,” Vivi Ann answered.
“What would you do if you could go back in time with Richard and get another chance?” Winona asked.
“I’ve thought a lot about that,” Aurora said, drawing her knees up to her chest. “But even when I’m the loneliest, I know I didn’t love Richard enough. I want what Vivi had, and if I don’t get it, I’m cool with being alone. No more compromises for me.”
Winona closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of her youth—the horses walking in the fields, the waves washing on shore, the rushing of the water in the salmon stream. For the first time, she appreciated the constancy of this place, the predictability. In a month or two the orcas would come back to the Canal, and for a few magical weeks, it would be the talk of the town. On the Canal road, cars would stop suddenly, park right in their lane while their drivers rushed out to watch the black and white giants breach and play. Later, when spring came, the frogs would return, ribbiting so loudly at night that people would stumble out of a sound sleep to close their windows.
In a place like this you always knew what to expect, and if you were careful, and you looked closely, you could see your future as clearly as your past. “I’ve never figured out how to stop loving Luke,” Winona said. It took an act of pure courage to say the words, but she was glad she did it.
“Yeah,” Vivi Ann said. “Love is like that. You’re lucky, though. All you have to do is pick up the phone and ask him out. The worst that can happen is he says no.”
“It’s not like you’re worse off,” Aurora agreed.