After a quick call to Cissy, they motored home slowly beneath a dome of starlight and pulled up to the dock. As they walked up to her house, he held her hand, and their first kiss was everything she’d imagined: tender and firm and filled with longing. Winona’s long-dormant passion came alive, reminding her forcibly that kisses weren’t enough.
Suddenly he drew back.
“What’s wrong? It’s me, isn’t it? You aren’t attracted to me.”
“It isn’t you. It’s me.”
A George Costanza line. She’d expected more from him; that had been her mistake. “Okay.” She sighed and turned away.
“Win.” He reached for her hand and forced her to look at him.
“You don’t have to put on a big show. It’s fine. I get it, believe me. I just thought we were getting along, that’s all.”
“That’s the problem.”
“You lost me.”
“My wife. Ironically, her name was Sybil. I should have seen that as a sign instead of a joke. Anyway, I love her.” He paused, glancing out at the water as he whispered, “Loved her.”
“And?”
He shrugged. “I wish I knew what happened. That’s what kicks the shit out of me. I thought we were happy. Until I came home to an empty house and a Sorry, Mark note. She fell in love with her Pilates instructor and she was gone. Just like that. Cissy and I didn’t know what hit us.”
“That must have been terrible.”
“Don’t give up on me. Can I just say that? I know I have no right to ask, but I am anyway. Don’t give up.”
“Believe me, Mark. Giving up isn’t something I know how to do.”
“Okay, then.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you.”
“You know where I am,” she said, then watched him leave her. He walked across the deck and over to his property line, where he disappeared into the dark black hedge.
She couldn’t help wondering how long she’d have to wait for his next call.
Last night was el primo night of my life. As soon as Aunt Winona and Mark left on their date, I walked up the ramp to the yard and waited. My heart was beating so hard I thought I was gonna puke. I can’t describe how it felt to see her coming through the opening in the hedge and know that she wanted to be with me.
I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie, but she said it was such a pretty night we should just lay down in the grass and talk. And That’s what we did. I brought a blanket from Aunt Winona’s guest room and spread it out over the bumpy grass and Cissy got us some Cokes and chips from her house and we laid down right beside each other and talked about stuff.
It was so awesome. She told me how her mom just left one day and didn’t come back and never even called, and how her dad started drinking when it happened. She started crying when she was talking and I didn’t know what I should do. I wanted to say the right thing only I know there’s nothing you can say. Maybe That’s why my mom never talks about my dad. Sometimes shit just hurts and That’s the way it is.
She made this little sound when I touched her, kinda like a tire going flat, and I could tell that she’d stopped looking at the sky and was staring at me. Thanks, she said, I been hoping you’d do that.
What about you? she said later, what’s the story of your life? I know she’s gonna hear it all sooner or later, so I tried to tell her, but couldn’t. I looked into her eyes and saw how much she liked me and I just couldn’t ruin it. So I told her other stuff. Like how Brian and Erik Jr. talk trash around me and sometimes I lose my temper and how I’ve been suspended a couple of times for fighting. I even told her I started some of them.
I waited for her to say what everyone says which is what were you thinking? Like I’m an idiot. No one gets how I feel when Brian calls me injun boy. It’s like that time I was riding Renegade and we turned a corner and saw a cougar. Renegade spooked and reared so fast I was lucky not to fall off. That’s what happens when I hear shit like that—I spook. And instead of running, I fight.
So I waited to hear what Cissy would say. I didn’t want her to think I was a chicken or a bully. I was so worried I barely heard her say I know how you feel.
The worst part, she said, was pretending it didn’t hurt all the time.
That’s when I kissed her. I didn’t even think about it. I just saw her start to smile, and I knew how she felt and how I felt and I kissed her.
Of course that was exactly when my mom drove up. Cissy and I were laughing as we grabbed our stuff and put it away—all without Mom seeing anything. She honked her horn when I was out on the deck with Cissy. I almost said I love you but I knew she’d laugh at me, so I just said Later instead, and she said Later back.