I felt a new round of tears threaten at his faint question. If only life worked like that. I didn’t answer him and he didn’t seem to be expecting me to. But just as I reached the house, I slowed, then stopped. I dropped my cheek to the top of his head.
“Newt,” I whispered.
He made an unintelligible sound, so I wasn’t sure if he was actually awake or not.
“Newt, do you want to stay here for a while? With Loki and Dallas and Nolan and Gentry and Mad?”
He didn’t answer, and I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad about that. But just as I reached the steps that led up to the door, Newt’s lips moved against my neck. I couldn’t actually hear his answer, but it didn’t matter because the nod against my neck was answer enough.
“Okay, buddy,” I said as I pressed another kiss to the top of his head. “We’ll stay.” A mix of fear and relief went through me and I instinctively qualified my answer so I wouldn’t let myself be too overly comfortable with it, because that would be a very dangerous thing indeed.
So I added “for now” and waited for the nerves in my belly to ease.
But they didn’t… and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
My gut was telling me it was probably a good thing. Because being relaxed meant making mistakes.
And I couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.
Not again.
Because I wouldn’t be the only one who paid for them.
Chapter Seven
Maddox
I’d made him cry.
I’d humiliated him, confused him, and then made him cry.
I downed another swallow of whiskey from the bottle in my hand before refilling my glass and setting the bottle by my feet, and I waited for the warm liquid to take away the pain I’d seen in Isaac’s eyes.
He was a prostitute.
He let men use his body for money.
What if that was only who he used to be? What if my actions had forced him to go back to that life? Fuck, why hadn’t I just talked to Dallas or Nolan about my suspicions that Isaac and Newt were in trouble and let them handle it? Surely, they could have found a way to help the young man without putting him in a position where he had to let random guys fuck him for cash.
The liquor soured in my belly and I fought the urge to throw up. I dropped my head back against the seat cushion of the armchair I was sitting in. My head hurt, but I knew the knocking sound I was hearing wasn’t from the throbbing in my brain.
I didn’t bother getting up because I knew Dallas would find me pretty easily. Despite the size of the sprawling mansion, I heard footsteps closing in on my location within a minute. Of course, I’d made it pretty easy by choosing only one section of the house to call home. I hadn’t even bothered with turning on the heat for the huge house. The massive fireplace in the living room was enough to keep me warm.
God, my brother looked good. Tired, but good. The last time it’d been just me and him, he’d been in the hospital, his body battered and broken and lifeless. I could tell he still suffered some lingering issues from the accident besides his voice, because he walked with a slight limp. But otherwise he looked strong and healthy. I couldn’t wait to hear him talk again. Even if it wasn’t his old voice, maybe just hearing him talk would let me pretend the events of ten years ago hadn’t happened.
Yeah, right.
Even if I could have sold myself on that story, I’d have to be sticking around in order to hear him talk and that just wasn’t going to happen. I needed to get the fuck out of Pelican Bay.
Dallas’s eyes met mine briefly before he studied the area around the fireplace. My sleeping bag in front of it, all the cloth-draped furnishings moved to the far walls of the room, and the various empty bottles of liquor on the floor near my bedroll.
“Took you long enough, little brother,” I said softly.
He came around to face me and handed me his phone. There was a message already typed out on it so instead of taking it from him, I just leaned forward and read it.
Thank you for what you did for Loki… for me.
“Don’t thank me,” I said as I leaned back in the chair. “All I did was tell the truth. It was long overdue.”
I knew the conversation wasn’t over, so I let my eyes drift to the roaring fire as Dallas typed. It just hurt too much to look at him. I wondered when I’d become that guy. The one who acted before thinking. The one who preferred action to logic.