When I showed Eden my screen, he said, “Thanks for doing that. He needed it.”
“So, is he okay with us being together now?”
“No, but he knows it’s not his call.” Eden paused for a moment and studied his hands, which were braced against his knees. Then he said, “I owe you an apology, Seth. I should have stood up for us when Casey showed up and started going off, but I didn’t do that.”
“That really hurt,” I said quietly. “It seemed like you were ashamed of being with me.”
“I felt guilty, not ashamed. Some of that was because of the way I’d gone behind Casey’s back. As soon as you and I became a couple, I should have said something to him. He’s my best friend, and he deserved the truth.”
“You planned to tell him as soon as you saw him. You just didn’t want to do it over the phone.”
“Right. But then there he was, at the worst possible time, and he was so angry and shocked. I felt awful for doing that to him.”
“But what does he think you did wrong? I want to understand this. You keep talking about crossing a line. I know how I interpret that expression, but I want to hear what you think it means.”
“It’s an unwritten rule between close friends,” he said, “an agreement that certain people are off-limits no matter what, for the sake of your friendship. If Casey was straight, an example would be if he decided to date my ex, Sarah. There’s nothing technically wrong with it, since I’m totally over her and they’re both adults. But Casey would never go there, out of respect for me. And that’s what it comes down to—respect.”
“Okay, that’s a good example. If you look at it from my perspective, there’s no reason you and I shouldn’t be together. But I can see it from your point of view.”
After another pause, Eden turned to look at me and asked, “Are we going to be okay?”
“Definitely.”
“You seemed so mad, though.”
“I was. Part of me still is, but I’m working through it.”
He nodded at that, and then he got up and said, “It’s late, and I should let you get some rest. Can I come see you tomorrow, so we can continue this conversation?”
I got up too and told him, “Actually, there’s something important we need to do tomorrow.”
“What’s that?”
“We need to drive back to Utah and keep Casey company while he waits for your truck to get fixed. You know my brother can’t stand being alone. He’ll be climbing the walls within twenty-four hours.”
“You know what? You’re absolutely right.”
“Let’s leave first thing in the morning,” I said. “We can take my car. I bought Bernice.”
“Yeah, I saw the frankencar out front. I still don’t like the idea of you driving without a license, though.”
“Then it’s a good thing I went to the DMV after my job interview this afternoon and took care of that,” I told him with a grin.
“You applied for a job?”
“Applied and was hired on the spot, thank you very much. Say hello to the assistant manager of Buckingham Phallus.”
“Of what?”
“You heard me.”
He grinned at me. “I did, but say it again.”
“Buckingham Phallus. It’s a sex shop,” I explained. “They have one of the biggest selections of dildos in the Bay Area.”
Eden chuckled and said, “I’m happy about the job, but that’s the most ridiculous business name I’ve ever heard.”
“It could be so much worse.”
“How?”
“It could be called…hell, I don’t know. Ballmart? Jizzney Land? Sex Fifth Avenue?”
We both laughed at that, and he suggested, “How about Ass Pro Shop?”
“Good one.”
“Please tell me Buckingham Phallus has a British theme.”
“Oh, it does,” I said. “There’s a mannequin by the door dressed in nothing but one of those tall, black hats the palace guards wear, and a jock strap with a sequined Union Jack on the front of it.”
“Excellent. Very classy.”
“All jokes aside though, I’m actually really excited about this job. The pay’s decent, the guy who owns it is nice, and everyone I met who works there is really friendly and sex-positive. I didn’t expect to get hired as an assistant manager, but he was impressed that I’d been a shift leader when I worked in fast food, and he thinks I can handle it. I want to prove him right.”
“That’s great,” Eden said.
“The other nice thing is that I told him I’m going back to school in January, and he’s totally willing to work around my classes.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. I decided to start with three classes at City College and see how it goes.”
Eden gently brushed my hair off my forehead and told me, “Not that you need to hear this, but I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks for saying that. Your opinion definitely matters to me. So does Casey’s. Ultimately though, I’m making these changes for me. Ever since I graduated from high school seven years ago, I’ve just sort of been coasting. When my plans to play college football fell through, I lost all my motivation. Everything else just paled by comparison. But I can’t keep focusing on what might have been. All I can do is pick a new direction and try something else. I have no idea what I’m going to end up doing long-term, but the only way to find out is to keep moving forward.”