"I lied to you, Aleks," I admitted as I kept my eyes on Violet so I wouldn't have to look at him. "The night you talked to Joe. That was me. Joe died six months ago. I knew if you thought I was alone, you’d come looking for me that night after the wedding. And I didn't want you to see me like that."
"Like what?" Aleks asked gently.
"Weak," I practically spit out.
"Is that how you see yourself?" my friend asked.
I glanced at him. "It's too hard to fight all the time." I was ashamed to say those words, but they were the truth, and I owed Aleks the truth.
"It's hard for me to make decisions," he responded. "Ever since I came home, I’ve had to make all these decisions that I was never allowed to before." Aleks's fingers reached out to touch the scar on his neck.
"I didn't want Dante to know that I wasn't okay, so I made all those decisions, but I was always so scared of making the wrong one… the one that would end up in me being punished. The one that would make Dante send me away. It was very tiring."
I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Is it better now?" I asked.
Aleks paused, then said, "I still don't like making them, but Vaughn is showing me that even if I make the wrong one, it's okay." The younger man had a little smile as he added, "He reminds me that I'm not broken."
When he looked at me, the light in Aleks's eyes had me smiling too.
"I'm glad, Aleks. I'm so glad you found him."
"Me too," he said. He actually seemed to blush a little, but I assumed that meant he was thinking something about his lover that probably wasn’t any of my business.
"Are you all right, Remy? With Luca?" Aleks asked.
I automatically started nodding but stopped. I held my breath as I shook my head instead.
"Has he upset you?" was Aleks's next question. He’d asked it cautiously and I knew why. Not only was Luca basically a brother to him now, but we were in new territory when it came to our friendship. Aleks and I had certain things we talked about and certain ones we didn't. This particular conversation fell under the didn't category.
"He hasn't hurt me," I responded because I knew that was what Aleks really wanted to know.
"He's a good man," Aleks murmured. "But he does things that…"
I heard the uncertainty in the other man's voice. I had no doubt he was thinking about Luca's role in the abduction attempt on Aleks just a couple months earlier, as well as the knowledge that Luca and I had our own past. Whatever relationship Aleks and Luca had, it was undoubtedly as complicated as the one Luca and I had.
"He's only ever wanted his son back," I said. "I don't think it's something I ever really would've understood until her," I murmured as I motioned with my chin toward Violet. "She's not even mine, but I would do anything to protect her. Anything."
"I would do the same for my family," Aleks responded. We both fell silent after that because we’d said a great deal without needing to say much at all. He and I were on the same page about Luca's actions in the past. We both had to find ways to forgive the man for decisions he’d made in the quest for his son, but like me, I knew Aleks understood it now.
When Violet started asking for food, Aleks and I took her back into the building and searched out the cafeteria. I was eager to get back to Luca, if only to find out how the meeting with Gio’s doctor had gone.
As Aleks and I walked Violet back to the third floor on our way back from the cafeteria, a familiar sight greeted us when we got off the elevator. Aleks and I both exchanged glances as Gio was wheeled past us. The sullen teen glanced our way. If his expression hadn't shifted upon seeing us, I would've left the whole thing alone. But when I saw that little flash in his expression, the same one I'd seen the day before when Gio had recognized the keychain, I knew what I needed to do.
"I’ll catch up," I said to Aleks softly once Gio was out of earshot. My friend nodded and then made his way back toward the waiting room while I went the opposite direction, a sleepy Violet still in my arms.
"Remy," Stan began to say but I shook my head at him.
"I just need a minute, Stan," I said. The bodyguard clearly wasn't happy about the deviation, but he stayed several steps behind, and I was glad that he didn't go for his phone to notify Luca of what I was up to.