I hoped it was his.
The orgasms seemed to go on forever. When mine finally eased, I felt like a wet noodle and ended up slumped against Nikolai as my body rode out the aftershocks of my release.
Nikolai’s harsh breaths were washing over my neck while my own mouth was pressed against his collarbone. I cursed the fact that the fabric of his shirt was keeping me from tasting his skin.
I was sure Nikolai had wrung out every bit of pleasure from my body, so I didn’t notice what was happening at first when he gently released his grip on my sensitive dick. He pulled his wet hand from between us but instead of wiping it on his shirt like I was expecting him to, he moved it to my ass.
My still-bare ass.
His other hand was still gripping the curve of my ass. Suddenly, he was using both of his hands to split me open, exposing the most sensitive part of me to the cool air. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing but I ended up nearly choking on my own words as Nikolai’s finger, his very wet, semen-covered finger, rubbed over my entrance.
“Yes,” I cried out softly when I felt the cooling cum on my skin. I dug my hands into Nikolai’s shoulders as his finger pressed ever so slightly inside of me. The realization that I would have a part of him inside of me had me whimpering in relief before searching out his mouth.
That was when reality, the bitch that she was, made herself known again.
The sound of a blaring horn and the SUV jerking hard to the right had Nikolai grabbing me so I wouldn’t slip off his lap. I heard Tony let out a yell, presumably in response to whatever traffic had caused the little hiccup.
Despite everything smoothing itself back out, the moment between Nikolai and myself was broken and I mourned the loss of his touch as he released his grip on my backside. I forced myself to sit up only to see Nikolai wiping his wet hand on his shirt. The move left me feeling cold. There was enough light from the streetlamps for me to see Nikolai's features.
And what I saw left me feeling empty and alone.
The promise he’d made me was long gone and his eyes were filled with the one thing I’d feared seeing from the moment he’d taken my hand in that club.
Regret.
Chapter 15
Nikolai
I fully expected Jude to go back to giving me the silent treatment after what had happened the night he and I had gone to Club Four. But instead of silence, I’d gotten a week of unfailing, over-the-top politeness that had left me wanting to rip everything around me to shreds. Because when he was quiet, polite, distant Jude, I didn't recognize any facet of his true self.
It was like Jude—my Jude—had ceased to exist the night we’d gotten out of that SUV.
In the past seven days, Jude had treated me no differently than he did any of the other employees at TDS.
Well, that wasn't quite true. While Jude had a tendency to just ignore everyone else, he was ridiculously polite with me. He would thank me for opening a door for him or he’d ask me if I’d slept well the night before.
But his words were always empty and meaningless. He didn’t give a shit how I’d slept or if I thought we were going to get rain despite a sunny forecast. He’d become nothing more than a robot with shitty programming.
And I had no one but myself to blame.
Those few minutes in the SUV with Jude had irrevocably changed something within me and it had scared the fuck out of me.
It still did.
The encounter had not only been one of the hottest ones in my life, but also one of the most meaningful. Jude was so damn responsive and from the moment I’d taken his hand in mine, he’d practically been an open book. He hadn't hidden anything from me. His desperation, his pleasure, his need… his fear.
And I’d shit all over that by making him a promise I’d had no right to make.
When Jude had begged me to promise him that our first encounter wouldn’t also be our last, I hadn’t even tried to stop what was happening between us. Selfish bastard that I was, I hadn’t wanted to risk losing him. I’d refused to let myself see that what should have been a simple, straightforward sex act had been anything but.
In that moment, I had had every intention of touching him again but when the reality of what I’d done had sunk in, I’d realized I couldn't keep that promise. Not only was Jude my client and therefore off-limits, he was also already spoken for. The whole thing had been complicated to begin with, but I'd made it a thousand times more so by not being able to keep my hands off of the man. I’d hoped that one time with him would be enough, but it had been like opening Pandora's box.