“Here,” I heard Dom say and I looked up to see him standing in front of me, a bottle of soda in his hand.
“Thanks,” I murmured.
“Let’s take a walk.”
I nodded and followed him to the back door. Tanner, Dom and Logan’s eight-year-old son came barreling after us and threw himself into Dom’s arms. “Papa, can we play football now?”
Dom hugged Tanner and then lifted him high over his shoulder so that Tanner was hanging precariously over his back. “In a little bit,” he said as he gave the boy a swat on his bottom.
My chest constricted as I watched Dom right the boy and then hold him for several long seconds against his chest. Tanner seemed used to his father’s prolonged hugs and didn’t squirm to get away. When Dom finally released him, I wasn’t surprised when Tanner wrapped his arms around my middle and said, “Welcome home, Eli.”
And then he was off like a shot to rejoin Logan who was holding his and Dom’s young daughter, Sylvie. I watched as Logan cast Dom a sidelong glance. It was a look I’d seen a thousand times and that hadn’t dimmed in the nearly nine years they’d been together. It was a look I’d once hoped I would one day share with someone.
I had to tear my eyes away from the two men as they silently communicated and I ended up walking outside ahead of Dom. I waited for him to catch up and then followed him down to the water where there was a large beach as well as a dock, where a massive boat was moored.
“I spoke to your dad today,” Dom began.
I swallowed hard and forced every bit of normalcy into my voice as I could when I said, “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. He seemed worried about you. Said you seemed a bit distracted these days.”
I flinched at that, but kept my mouth shut. My insides felt like they were going to explode though.
“He was hoping I could convince you to move back home. Says he knows a guy at Johns Hopkins who can reinstate your admission.”
I kept my attention on the dock as we began walking towards the end of it.
“I’m sure your mom is missing you,” Dom added.
“The UW is a better fit,” I murmured non-committedly.
“Eli, you know we’re all glad you’re back…”
Dom let his words hang in the air and I was glad when he didn’t finish them. I knew it would be next to impossible to keep anything from this man, but my hope was that he wouldn’t push for answers and that once I started school, I’d have the excuse of the heavy workload to explain away my demeanor.
“How did things work out with your guy?” Dom asked once we reached the end of the dock. “Mav, right?”
I nodded and forced a swallow of soda down. “He’s not my guy,” I managed to say. “We’re just friends.”
“Whatever I walked in on didn’t look like it was just about friends.”
“Dom…”
“Okay, okay,” Dom said as he put his hands up in supplication. “Can’t blame a guy for worrying,” he said with a chuckle. “You want to protect your kids from the harshness of life for as long as you can, you know?”
I nearly bent over in pain at that and I actually dropped my soda. It hit the dock with a splat, spraying all over our shoes. “Shit,” I bit out as I tried to get control of my shaking hand. Luckily, Dom was distracted by trying to grab the bottle before it rolled into the water so he didn’t notice my predicament.
Fuck. How many times had I wished Dom had seen me as his own kid?
And now it was just too fucking late.
“You okay?” Dom asked, his voice heavy with worry as he snatched the bottle up and glanced at me.
“Yeah,” I said quickly. “Sorry.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “Yep. I’ve just been a little tired. You know, with what happened to Nick, the move…”
Dom nodded. “Your dad says Caleb’s been struggling, but that they found him a good therapist and that he seems to be back on track now. And your mom is keeping busy with the VA.”
I managed to nod in agreement even though my skin felt like something was crawling just beneath the surface. “It’s been tough,” I said and I automatically began walking back towards the house.
I needed to get the hell out of there.
“Dom,” I said as we reached the shore. “Do you mind if I head home? I’m really tired and I need to check on Baby.”
Dom studied me for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
I glanced back at the house and then managed to mumble, “Can you say my goodbyes for me?”
I was already walking towards the side of the house so that I wouldn’t have to go through it and see everyone again when I heard Dom say yes and wish me a safe trip home. By the time I reached my car, I could feel the bile churning deep in my belly and it didn’t start to ease until I reached the ferry dock almost twenty minutes away. My fingers wouldn’t stop shaking as I got out of the car and went up to the top level of the boat to watch the approach to the mainland. I heard my phone beep with a text message, but bitter disappointment curled through me when I saw that it was Brennan asking if I was okay. I sent him a quick text back telling him I was good and that I’d call him later. Instead of putting the phone away, I pulled up Mav’s contact and stared at his phone number.