I didn’t do any of that.
I didn’t do anything but close my arms around him and enjoy the feel of his heart beating against mine.
There’d be enough time to deal with reality later.
Chapter Ten
Eli
“You made me lose twenty bucks.”
I glanced at Brennan as he dropped down in the chair next to me. “What?” I asked as tried to cover up how distracted I was by picking at the piece of cake someone had placed in my hand at some point without me even noticing.
“I had a bet going with Logan that you would be a no-show again,” Brennan said with a chuckle and I automatically looked up to search out Logan Barretti, Dom’s husband. “Of course, he had insider information about a certain little visit Dom made to your place a few days ago.”
The day I’d last seen Mav.
The day Mav had shown me more pleasure in a matter of minutes than I’d never known in my entire life.
The day I’d finally taken another man into my mouth and actually wanted it…and enjoyed it.
My heart flip flopped painfully at the reminder and I tried to focus on what Brennan was saying. I hadn’t actually spoken to Dom more than a few minutes before I’d left my apartment to find Mav and apologize for hurting him. And I’d had no doubt that that was exactly what I’d done when I’d lashed out at him and told him I didn’t want him. I’d seen it in his eyes the moment I’d spoken the lie, but the true depth the impact of my words had had on him hadn’t become apparent until Mav had bent at the waist and struggled to breathe.
As if I had physically struck him.
When Mav had left, I hadn’t been able to focus on anything Dom had said to me. I’d only heard bits and pieces about him being worried about me, and all I’d managed to get out was telling him that I needed to go and that I’d call him later. I hadn’t even remembered to turn my oven off. Fortunately, Dom had realized it before he’d left and when I’d called him later that night to explain my abrupt departure, he’d told me I could explain it in person when I attended my welcome home party this weekend. I’d known better than to ignore the subtle order and so when Saturday afternoon had rolled around, I’d forced myself out of bed and made the trip to San Juan Island. But despite my physical presence in Dom and Logan’s beautiful island house, it didn’t mean I was there mentally.
Maybe if things hadn’t ended with Mav the way they had.
And I had no doubt that they’d ended.
Because I’d woken up in his hotel room alone. I’d been curled up on the same chair we’d had our encounter in and there’d been a blanket draped over me. But Mav had been nowhere to be found. No note, no text, no nothing. If I hadn’t seen his small overnight bag sitting on a chair near the bed, I would have guessed he’d checked out. When I’d gone to my car, his Harley had been gone. I’d managed to go to the hospital the rest of the week for my volunteer duties, but my heart hadn’t been in it. And when Hawke had walked me to my car each night, I hadn’t argued or asked if he knew where Mav was.
I may not have ever had any relationships in my past experience to draw from, but I knew enough from what Mav had said in the hotel room. He wanted to fuck me, not date me. And apparently, he wasn’t even all that interested in fucking me either.
“Hey,” Brennan said as he gave me a little nudge.
“Sorry,” I murmured as I tried to pull myself from my sad reverie.
“No problem,” Brennan said gently, but he gave up trying to draw me from my funk. I managed to make conversation as other members of the family came to greet me, but by the time I was done, I was barely holding it together. I’d specifically returned to Seattle to be closer to these men and women who’d changed my life, but now that I was here, I felt like an interloper. To them I was Eli Galvez, the kid who’d struggled to overcome a shitty past to have a bright future as a doctor. They had no idea of everything I’d done and been in the years that had passed. They had no idea the secrets I had kept…was still keeping. I was a fraud and I had no right to immerse myself in their world.
It wasn’t until Sweetie, Logan and Dom’s German Shepherd, pushed her muzzle into my hands that I realized my stress levels were increasing. I hadn’t brought Baby with me because he wasn’t overly fond of spending long periods of time in the car, but now I was regretting it. My skin felt itchy and I subtly glanced at my watch to see when I could make my escape. To my dismay, I’d only been at the party for a couple of hours and guessed that I had to put in at least another hour before I could start making my excuses about needing to leave.