Aphrodite stepped in and closed the door behind her. For a moment she said nothing, just stared at Marietta standing in the middle of the room in her silk robe. She was wearing her usual black, her hair drawn into a rather severe chignon, but tonight there was a flush to her cheeks and her eyes gleamed with some inner excitement.
Marietta stared back at her uneasily.
“You do not have to say anything, your Max has told me what he has done.”
“Oh.” She was relieved for only a brief moment. “Well, to be fair, it wasn’t just him. Everything…somehow we couldn’t stop. He did give me the choice, and I didn’t want to.”
“I see.” She rolled her eyes. “Where have I heard that before?” she muttered to herself. “Why do none of my daughters listen to me?”
“Madame?” Marietta whispered.
“It does not matter.” Aphrodite waved her hand. “Your Max is not a man to be trifled with, mon petit puce, remember that. You should not play him for a fool.”
Marietta blinked at her in confusion. “What do you mean, Mama?”
“I mean…he seems very able, child. Perhaps I should use him to help some of the other girls. Would you recommend him in his role as mentor, Marietta? I had not thought of such a thing before, but now…hmm, the idea is a good one.”
A terrible wave of pain rose up inside her; she felt like physically jumping back from the suggestion. Her chest ached and despite her efforts her eyes filled with tears, but her mother was watching her.
“No,” she managed to gasp, and cleared her throat. “That is, he is a very good mentor, but I don’t think he would ever agree to such a thing.”
Aphrodite frowned, looking concerned. “Are you all right, my child? You do not look happy. Come, are you hurt?”
“No, I’m not hurt. Just…just…” The tears welled up and blinded her.
Aphrodite made a soft sympathetic sound and held out her arms, and after a brief hesitation Marietta ran into them. She snuggled close to her mother, feeling her warmth through the rigid bone of the stays she wore and the scratchy stiffening of the silk dress. None of that seemed to matter, when her mother’s arms were holding her and her sweet fragrance was comforting her.
“When a man like Max Valland wants a woman, Marietta, it is hard to resist him. You shouldn’t feel guilty or uncomfortable about that.”
Marietta snuggled yet closer.
“You have never had the chance to enjoy yourself in that way. Max can open a new world for you, a world of pleasure and sensual treats. I think you should make the most of your time with him, Marietta, because such joys do not happen very often.”
Marietta sighed.
“Did you not like what you did together? Was it not pleasurable?”
She hesitated, but she couldn’t lie to Aphrodite. “It
was wonderful.”
“Then if Max agrees I will make him an offer. He should continue to be your mentor and when you are done with him, he can work with some of my other girls. What do you think?” She seemed to be belaboring the point, but Marietta was too emotionally off-balance for it to occur to her. In fact she thought it was an awful idea. The image of Max with other women, doing what they had just done, was so painful and so horrible that she could hardly bear it. And yet it should not affect her like this. He was nothing to her—a casual acquaintance, that was all.
It is almost as if I am in love with him, Marietta thought bleakly.
But she knew she could never fall in love. She could not have her heart broken again. And with Max she suddenly understood it would be so much worse than it had been before. If he were to love her, and make her love him and trust him, and then decide he no longer wanted her—abandon her—then she would be destroyed. Utterly and completely destroyed. There could be no way back from that.
It was a combination of self-preservation and the longing to have a full life that had set her on the path to being a courtesan. She must not be swayed from her goal, not when she was so close to obtaining it. She must not be blinded again by thoughts of love and happiness, only to find them nothing more than a young girl’s dreams.
Max was handsome and strong and honest, in fact she had often thought he was too good to be true—all the more reason not to trust her own feelings and senses where he was concerned. Only a fool would make the same mistake a second time.
Aphrodite continued to rock her, but she seemed deep in her own thoughts. “We will talk of this matter again,” she murmured at last. “I think that for now you should carry on with your tasks. Max will help you to learn what it is to be a woman who desires a man, oui? Just as he has been doing.”
“But—” she began, trying not to wail.
“Unless you wish to use another man?” she said innocently, still with that watchful gaze.
Marietta swallowed, feeling sick. Another man in Max’s place? Another man kissing her, touching her, smiling down at her as he entered her body. She shook her head decisively.