I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
“I know the whole music thing is new for you,” she started. “I know it’s scary. I know your family is a fucking cockblock and a half, telling you shit like music isn’t a career, but trust me when I say this, you have nothing to be insecure about, Gem. You are incredible. You’re one in a million. Music is a career for you. And you sure as shit shouldn’t be throwing away an opportunity like this just because you’re feeling scared.”
With clammy hands and a stream of sweat on my back, my body turned into a frozen log of panic as she laid it out. Giving in to this would mean confronting my family, and confronting my family would mean hours and hours and years of hard work until I made it happen. I refused to fail in the wake of their disappointment, only to come out of the deal with nothing. If I did this…if I started now…if I took this step…there was no turning back.
Screw the temp stuff and the steady paycheck, I’d have to dream-chase until I caught the fucker, no matter the consequences.
“This is important, Gem. It could be a huge turning point for you. And it is literally killing me to sit back and watch you throw it away.”
My body shook as I fully considered what I was going to do. Was I really going to give myself a shot at my dream? The real one.
“Gem, if you don’t go to that club tonight, if you don’t get on that stage and sing a song and play your music and let everyone in that room see and hear how much talent you have, you are going to regret it,” she said, and my chest tightened. “He called me, you know,” she added, and her voice turned soft. “He called me in the hope that I could help make you realize you’re making a big mistake. He called me because he cares about you and he wants to see you happy. He wants to see you live out your dreams, even though you refuse to admit them to yourself. And, most importantly, he called me because he loves you, Gem.”
He loves me?
She nodded even though the words never left my lips. “He really, truly loves you, Gem. And God, please don’t miss out on this opportunity. Please don’t let this slip through your fingertips.”
Tears pricked my eyes, and instantly, I knew she was right.
If I didn’t go to Monarchy, I would regret it.
Because of the music.
And because of Leo.
And because dreams weren’t built on fear. They were built on the courage you used to get over it.
I wanted my dream. I wanted music, and I wanted Leo.
From here on out, there was no turning back.
Three bands had already been on, and with each passing set, my sickness seemed to grow more and more in tune with the beat. On the plus side, if I upchucked right in the middle of it all, at least I would be on tempo.
Ah, fuck.
She wasn’t here yet, I had no idea if she was coming, and if this didn’t work out, I didn’t know how to move on. Clearly, the pressure of it all was starting to get to me.
I’d been serious when I told Abby that I loved Gemma, but I wasn’t exactly sure having her friend tell her for me was the best route of profession. Luckily, Abby’d made it seem like I’d get another chance.
Still, my pulse pounded and patrons laughed, and it was painfully obvious that as much as I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the world was going on just fine around me.
Will Chambers was a nice guy, but he’d been breathing down my neck for the last twenty minutes while I’d stood backstage and offered up every prayer I could think of that Gemma would show. It was completely on him to fill this spot, and he didn’t need some shit-stain kid like me ruining it for him.
And that was not me paraphrasing.
To make matters worse, Cam was busy tonight, so I was on my own, left to my fate like a lone reed blowing in the wind.
The only good news was that if she neglected to show, I could wallow in privacy.
“She’s got five minutes, Leo,” Will muttered in passing, and all I could do was nod.
I mean, I didn’t know any better than he did if she was coming, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
But I’d resolved to believe in her, and I would keep doing it until all the time ticked away.
I watched the clock like punishment as the band onstage transitioned into their last song of the set and sweat pooled at my back.
One minute and thirty seconds left until my fate would be clear, and hell if it wasn’t the fastest ninety seconds of my entire life.