These memories were why I didn’t want to be back because I knew that being here would only bring me pain. But Mom had insisted on us using the lake house as the location for the wedding. She’d said it would be the perfect backdrop for the wedding photographs, which I could only presume I’d see in the press the next day. After all, this media attention kind of comes with the territory when your mother is a famous actress, and your father is a member of Congress.
It will only help your prospects of getting elected!
Me getting elected to Congress was all that mattered to my parents, especially Dad. Mom didn’t care about the ways as long as I did become famous and would carry on the family legacy.
As I parked the car and got out, the lake house seemed to stare back at me in disapproval. Mom wanted a huge event here, which I wouldn’t have minded as long as the guests were people I actually cared about and the bride was someone I loved with all my heart. I had no problem going the extra mile for a woman I loved. But this wedding wasn’t about my fiancée—who I didn’t even love—or me. It was about my mother and our family name.
I walked up to the front door and immediately realized that it was a mistake to come back. My stupid brain wouldn’t just let go of the decade-old memories of Laura—I swore I could smell her in the house when I entered. I could hear the walls being filled with her laughter. It was like her scent and memory had somehow lingered in the lake house even after all these years.
My heart thumped painfully in my chest as I walked through the house to make sure that everything was in order for the wedding. Every room reminded me of her.
The kitchen was where we made whatever crazy concoction struck our fancy, eating everything from pizza to s’mores. On the kitchen island I’d drizzled melted chocolate on her skin and licked it off clean. And then, each night, we’d be in a different bedroom just for the fun of it. We’d had sex on my parents’ bed as a special “fuck you” and in the huge tub in their bathroom, with the water running cool over our warm bodies heating with pleasure. The jacuzzi on the back porch was where we would soak ourselves for hours in the evening and the gazebo was where I’d fucked her under the hot summer sun, fresh out of the lake.
In the living room was the couch where we’d stayed up far too late at night watching scary movies, Laura clinging to me but insisting that she wasn’t afraid and wanted to watch until the end. In the basement was the pool table where Laura had taken to the game like a duck to water and ended up kicking my ass by the end of the night.
Every inch of this house was full of memories of her. Of us. Of the last time that I had been really, truly happy.
I hated myself, hated those memories for reminding me of who I could’ve been if my life had been different—if I had done things differently. I could keep telling myself that I had been a scared kid back then, that I’d been unsure of myself, that it’s sometimes hard to stand up to your parents. But all of this just felt like a flimsy excuse for my cowardice.
The last time I’d been here, I’d been in love. Now the lake house would be a place where I’d have to marry a woman I didn’t love, a woman I barely even knew. To me, having the wedding here seemed like a mockery of all that I’d ever had with Laura, all that I’d ev
er thought of myself. All that I’d ever wanted to do in life.
My phone rang, startling me, and I was glad that I wasn’t holding it, or I would’ve dropped it. I yanked the phone out of my pocket. Ah, crap! I sighed as I saw that it was Paula, my assistant.
“Hey, Paula, how’re we looking?” I asked.
“Um…” I could hear her holding in a sigh. “Your mother’s flight was delayed, sir. I’m sorry to tell you this, but she’s already made an appointment with a local event planner….”
“What?” I didn’t know about any appointments, but Mom had made one already? Were any decisions about this wedding being taken by me, or the bride? The way she was running the whole thing, you’d think that it was Mom was getting married.
“I know, sir, I know,” Paula said, her voice slightly strained, but keeping calm. “She didn’t tell me as well and I’d heard nothing from her team about this until now. I believe her intention was to have the meeting without you or spring it on you at the last minute.”
“And we know how much she loves doing that,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“As it is, this planner has great reviews and seems like an excellent choice, your mother does know how to pick the best,” Paula went on. I could hear the clack of the keyboard as she dug in deeper to find out more about the event planner my mother had chosen. “I suggest you go to the meeting in your mother’s place. You’ll have to fly solo but maybe, sir, this could be a chance for you to get some of your opinions on things. See if you can get the planner on your side?”
Paula didn’t know everything about my family, but she’d have to be blind to have missed how my mother took over everything without consulting my tastes or opinions.
“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”
I didn’t want to cancel on the planner because it was probably best that we were getting the ball rolling already. Y’know, might as well get this whole charade over and done with as quickly as possible. I know I shouldn’t be saying this about my own wedding and that I should be excited. But I wasn’t happy or excited for many things.
Well, anything, in my life, really. This was just par for the course.
As I ended the call with Paula, I felt a dread in my stomach and deep sorrow. Sometimes, Mom would ask me why I didn’t smile more. She wouldn’t want the truth because she didn’t care that I was unhappy, she just cared about me looking happy. The family image was all that mattered to her.
No wonder I had been depressed for the last decade! Only one person had ever cared about me. Only one person had ever loved me for me, not because of my family or what favors I could do for them.
Laura.
But I had to banish all thoughts of her now. Maybe meeting the event planner would stop me from spiraling further into depression as I thought about my wedding day—the day of my imprisonment. I might be going through with this wedding for the sake of my parents, and the girl might be nice, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be actively involved in the event that would tie me down to someone I didn’t care about.
But I couldn’t leave without walking down to the lake for one last time.
I took my time, feeling the grass under my shoes, resisting the urge to take my clothes off and dive right into the water. The lake was pristine and placid, the sun shimmering on the water. If I closed my eyes and listened carefully, I could hear the ghost of splashing and laughter from when Laura and I had taken swims in the lake. Every day that we’d stayed at the lake house had made me feel like a badass, sneaking my secret girlfriend up here. It had felt like a honeymoon. I wished it had been my honeymoon.
You aren’t a kid anymore, I told myself viciously. Laura could’ve turned into a horrible person, the logical part of my brain told me. We had been eighteen at the time, young and fresh out of high school. We both were immature and inexperienced, and so, Laura could very well have turned into someone I didn’t like, someone I couldn’t stand.