I feel my bottom lip quiver and hot tears pinprick my eyes. I can’t believe he’s saying this. Doing this. Every inch of my body wants to reach out and drag him inside. Make him deal with his issues. But that’s not what I do. I cross my arms and glare at him.
“Fine.” I stand and step back from the window. “If that’s what you want.”
He nods curtly but even in the dark, I don’t miss the glint of moisture in his own blue eyes.
“Good luck on the test tomorrow.” I mean it. There’s nothing more that I want than his success. We’ve both worked too hard for it.
“Thank you.”
He pulls his hood up over his head and in a single leap he’s over the fence—gone. I ease the window shut, moving with slow intention, while my heart shatters in my chest. Jake Hollingsworth just rejected me. Broke up with me, and the fissure that’s created inside of me feels like it may swallow me whole.
20
Jake
Crowley sniffs my feet as I walk into the house, barking as I pass. It’s like he knows what I just did. That I’m the enemy. He’s probably right.
“Crowley?” Mrs. Jones calls, peeking her head out of her room. Her expression relaxes when she sees me and she scoops up the tiny dog in her arms. “Oh, Jake. It’s just you. Have a good run?”
I nod, having lost the ability to speak. What have I just done?
“Well, get a good night’s sleep so you’re ready for your test tomorrow.”
Again, I nod and give her a brief smile. Although I get why Starlee and her mom didn’t get along, she’s been good to us—to me, and I feel even more like a dick than bef
ore.
I climb the stairs, feeling more exhausted than I should. I glance to the left and see Dexter sitting on his bed, our eyes lock for a brief moment before I turn away. I don’t even reach my bedroom door before I sense him behind me.
“Where were you?”
“Running.” I don’t turn around.
“Bullshit. Did you go over there? Did you fix this?”
I rest my hand on the door frame. Two other sets of footsteps enter the hall. Dammit. I turn. “I handled it.”
“What does that mean?” Dexter asks. The twins watch the two of us—me—carefully.
I groan. There’s no reason to hide this. It’s not like they won’t find out sooner than later anyway. I tug my hood off my head. “I told Starlee I wanted to take a break.”
George’s jaw drops at the same time Charlie’s snaps shut. Dexter’s fists ball at his side and a flash of that old, familiar rage flickers across his face. George is the first one to speak.
“You told her what? Why?”
I shrug. “I’m not going into it.”
“He’s still hung up on the fact he thinks he’s not worth her,” Dexter says, his eyes and tone hard.
“You’re still not what? Having sex? Less?” George asks, genuinely curious.
I glare at him, the answer obvious.
Charlie frowns. “And she’s okay with that? Because Starlee’s pretty comfortable with her sexuality. You think bailing on her and tearing her down like this is showing her how much she’s valued?”
“So you’ve put her on a pedestal,” Charlie says. “That’s not cool.”
“Sounds to me,” George says, “and I say this from experience, that you’re trying to sabotage yourself.”