“You need to drop it, Starlee.”
His voice is hard, cold whisper and I take a step back.
“Fine. Sure. No big deal. I’ll just spend every afternoon, every weekend helping you study. I’ll put all my energy into worksheets and test prep and study guides for a test I already passed, just so you can treat me like crap.” I narrow my eyes. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, Jake, but I’m the one that’s done. Don’t ask me for help again.”
His mouth opens like he may say something—finally say something—but his jaw snaps shut.
Rolling my eyes, I spin and leave, heading back downstairs. I step into the kitchen and find Dexter there, standing with his head in the refrigerator. The table is piled with the notes and study guides. I grab my backpack and start piling the books in. Dexter closes the refrigerator, screws the lid off a bottle of tea and takes a slow sip.
“You leaving?”
“He doesn’t want me here.” I stack all the loose papers together. He may not care about my hard work, but I do. I’m not going to smash it all in the bag.
“I think,” he says, his words slow and intentional, “I think he’s just struggling with some stuff.”
I look up at him. “You obviously know what it is. Just tell me.”
He shakes his head. “Not my info to share.”
“Then stop bringing it up.”
“I’m just trying to help. I don’t like seeing the two of you fighting like this. I don’t think it’s helping him and I don’t think it’s fair to you.”
I zip up the bag and walk across the kitchen. “You’re either in or out, Falco, you don’t get to be somewhere in between. Tell me what’s going on or stay out of it entirely.”
His jaw twitches and he holds my eye for a second. Then without warning he gives me a kiss, hard on the mouth. The kind that makes my toes curl and my heart pound like a billion drums. He pulls away, gives me a wink and walks out of the room.
Okay, I guess he’s staying out of it.
Even though Dexter doesn’t say it out loud, I’m well aware of at least one of the issues between me and Jake.
Sex.
Before Christmas he was light about it. Sweet. Promising. His reasons for holding off made sense. Not enough time. Too many eyes watching. But since then he’s slowly pulled away, taking his kisses and warm touch with him.
It’s pissing me off.
If there’s a reason, he’s not telling me. If it’s because he’s not into me, as much as it hurts, I’d rather just know the truth. Now it’s just a repetitive cycle of studying and fighting. Over and over. The tension can’t just be from the upcoming test. There’s something more and the one way I know we could for sure ease it, he’s denying me. Us.
I’m lying in bed the night after our fight, focused on my book, when a sound outside my window scares the crap out of me. One minute I’m curled on my side and the next I’ve jumped up, heart pounding. There’s a second sound, a tap, and I step to the window, exhaling when I see Jake.
Relief surges through me that he’s not a serial killer, but it’s quickly replaced with the annoyance and anger from earlier. He gestures for me to open the window and even though I kind of want him to suffer, I do. It’s cold out there and from his sweaty hair and stain on his shirt, it’s obvious he’s been running.
“What do you want?” The cool air rushes in my room. I’m only wearing a T-shirt and flannel pajama pants and I cross my arms over my chest.
“To apologize.” His chest is heaving from exertion. His eyes reflect contrition but I’m not sure.
“You were being a jerk.”
His hands slip into his hoodie pocket. “I know, I was just frustrated.”
“What I don’t understand is why you keep pushing me away—”
“I’m not trying to!” His voice bounces off the house. We both freeze, waiting to see if anyone is going to appear, but after a moment it’s clear no one heard him. He takes a breath. “I don’t want to push you away. Things are just complicated right now and it feels like the two of us may do better with a little space.”
I lean over the window sill, feeling the bite of cold mountain air. An uneasy feeling builds in my stomach. “Wait. You’re breaking up with me?”
His jaw sets and his eyes dart away. “I said space—that’s all.”