“That’s total bullshit, dude,” the twin says. “Like ridiculous. Does she know this?”
“No!” He grimaces and looks over his shoulder. In a lower voice he says, “Don’t you fucking tell her, either.”
Part of me wants to punch him in the face and tell him to get over it. But there’s another part, the kid barely off of probation that understands what it’s like not to feel worthy. I nod. “We won’t say anything, but you need to get your head on straight. If she knew about this, she’d be pissed.”
“Yeah, well that’s between me and her.”
The creak of the front door pulls our attention to the porch and the light flips on. Starlee appears, barefoot in the doorway. “What are you doing out here?” Her arms cross for warmth. “It’s freezing.”
“I was about to show everyone how I can clear all of those steps in one leap,” George says, pointing to the six steps ahead.
Starlee’s eyes widen. “Don’t let him do that.”
“We won’t,” Charlie says, grabbing his brother. They walk up the steps, each stopping to give Starlee a hug and get into the warmth of the house.
“Hey,” I say to Jake, before we hit the steps, “you know that’s not how any of us see you, right?”
“Maybe,” he shrugs and bounds up the stairs. All the self-doubt washes away when he meets our girl, holding back that part of himself for her.
With my hands in my pockets, I walk up the steps. Starlee takes one look at me and touches my cheek. “What’s wrong?”
I bend to kiss her, quickly brushing my lips against hers. It’s my turn to reply, “nothing,” and head into the house like everything and everyone is okay.
7
Starlee
“Can someone grab that bunch of balloons?” I call from the top of the ladder. We’re almost done with decorating the community center gym for the dance that starts in thirty minutes. Claire grabs the knot of ribbon and brings it over. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” She pushes her bangs out of her face. “Maybe a little lower?”
I adjust the balloons. It’s a little archway over the door. “How’s that?”
She gives me two thumbs up. “Perfect. You’d never know you haven’t been to a school dance before.”
“Hey!” I say, carefully climbing down the steps. “I went to the spring dance in the sixth grade.”
“Oh really? How was that?”
I look around the room. “A lot like this, honestly. We didn’t have dates—just went as a pack, although if Marcus Center had invited me to dance, I would have died.”
“Cute?”
“Very.” I shake my head at the memory. I hadn’t thought much about those days in a long time. Everything in the past seems so murky compared to my time here. “That was before things kind of fell apart for me at school.”
Margaret and Jake stand in the middle of the room supporting a ladder while Dexter secures a mirrored ball to the ceiling. Dex had agreed to go up but only if George stayed clear. Everyone agreed. He and Charlie are up on the stage setting up the music.
“You about ready to get dressed?” Claire asks. We’d stashed our clothes in a room down the hall. Margaret made it clear we were all supposed to look nice to make the kids feel comfortable since they were supposed to dress up, too.
“Yep.” I toss the tape and string into a box at the bottom of the ladder and pick it up.
“Hey, Starlee,” a voice calls. I look back and see Jasper. “I’ll take that box and put it with the other stuff.”
I hand it over. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Claire and I walk out of the gym down the hall, passing a bunch of classrooms. “So, you guys have meetings here and stuff?”