Not finding words to say, I nod.
“I-I wish I knew that before,” she stammers.
“What do you mean?”
“I…I don’t want you to judge me, Rei. You’re lik
e the only friend I have.”
“It’s okay, Ari.” I hold her hands in mine. “You can tell me anything.”
“You’re not going to judge me?”
“Never.” I smile. “Best friends don’t judge each other.”
She bites down on her lower lip so hard, I think she’ll draw blood. “I…I love Asher.”
“I know that.”
“No.” She meets my gaze then quickly averts it to stare at her lap. “I’m in love with him, Rei. Not like a sibling, but as a man.”
I freeze, my hand turning stone-cold around hers.
Oh, God.
“He doesn’t love you,” she blurts and goes back to clinking her nails against one another. “And you never loved him, so can you please leave him to me, Rei? You can find better, I know you can.”
For a long time, no words come out of my throat. I can’t speak or breathe.
I can’t do anything.
But as I stare down at her, I see it loud and clear. The pieces start falling together one after another. The miscommunications, the incidents, and the fights make sense now.
I can’t believe it took me this long to see it. How could I be so blind to the facts in front of me?
How could I let my emotions lead me?
This has to end. Now.
I need to speak to Asher.
I don’t go home that night.
I stay hidden in the locker room and make sure everyone leaves before I go into the gym and jump.
Over and over again.
Adrenaline fills my system as I run and flip backward. I jump and drop down just so I can do it again.
It doesn’t help.
No matter how much energy rushes into my veins, it’s too little to satiate the deep ache I’ve been feeling since I had that flashback.
I bend forward, catching my breath. I’m in my shorts and sports bra, my hair up in a tight ponytail.
The gym becomes blurry as I flop down on the floor, chest rising and falling heavily. My temples ache and my stomach rumbles its displeasure. I might have forgotten to eat today.
I hold my head between my hands as rampant theories assault me. Arianna, Asher, and I were so much more than what everyone else thinks.