I lean my head over and suck her bottom lip into my mouth like I did at twelve when she was sleeping in our guest house.
A shudder goes through her as I brush my lips against hers one last time. “You’ll never escape me, my ugly monster.”
My mouth is dry.
That’s the first thought I have as I open my eyes. All thoughts of being thirsty disappear when I make out my surroundings.
I’m lying in a queen-sized bed with sheets that aren’t my own. The white light in the ceiling isn’t from my room either.
I jerk to a sitting position and check under the covers. I’m still wearing my clothes from earlier. Thank God.
Slowly, I inch to the edge, and my toes get swallowed by the plush carpet.
Where is this place? Wasn’t I at the cottage not two seconds ago?
The time on the nightstand reads eight in the evening. I frown. It’s been hours. How the hell has it been hours? I was standing there, taking a trip into the past and trying to remember my life and…
I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands.
All the memories that hit me earlier consume me once more. Mom’s death. Reina’s sacrifice. The fact that I confiscated another person’s name.
This must be why I didn’t feel comfortable with the name Reina Ellis when I woke up in the hospital with wiped memories.
I lived as Rai Sokolov for twelve years. That name resonated with me better, but I had to erase it. I had to become Reina to survive.
Just like that, I took her life and threw her into mine.
Those Russians were after Mom and me. Or rather, they were after me since they had no problem hurting Mom once they found me.
Tears fill my eyes as I fall back on the bed, my limbs shaking and my heart racing louder and harder with every second.
Mom.
Reina.
Dad.
They’re all gone now, and I’m the only one who remains, the dirty little monster Rai who took an identity and a life that was never hers, who got engaged to a person who was never supposed to be hers.
Rai Sokolov.
That’s Russian, like Mom’s name and those men’s accents.
Mom used to teach me some Russian, telling me it was better to understand my enemies so I’d know what I was in for.
She considered them enemies and ran away from them. She took Reina and me and planned to leave the country. We had forged passports and forged identities and papers. But that day, they found us and everything blew up.
They killed Mom and took Reina.
I hate myself for being a fucking coward back then, for letting Reina take my place, for running away to Dad. I hate that I never looked back, never stopped.
In my twelve-year-old mind, I was so tired of running all the time, tired of never staying in one place for more than a few months, never having friends, never having enough food.
Never having a father.
I was also so fucking scared when I realized Mom no longer existed. She had been the one who took care of me, and I had no clue what the fuck to do without her.
So when Reina gave me her life, I took it.