I refuse to let him see how much he affects me.
“If you want to think of me as a slut, go ahead, but don’t you dare imply I’d put myself down just to get back at you. Newsflash, Ash: you don’t deserve any of my actions to be dedicated to you.” I flip my hair, having learned from Naomi how much that fills me with confidence. “And you’re such an asshole for thinking so little of your friends. You don’t deserve Owen and Sebastian.”
I turn to leave, but a strong hand clasps around my wrist and pulls me back. I end up flush against his hard, naked chest as his eyes search mine.
There’s something in them that’s never been there before. It’s like he’s really searching for something—or someone.
His perfect brows draw together over stormy eyes that dissect my soul with each passing second.
“Who the fuck are you?” he murmurs, still watching me like a hawk.
I place a hand over his chest, wanting—no, needing him to understand.
“I don’t know, Ash. I really don’t know who I am anymore. I woke up one day with no recollection of who or what I am, and I learned how much of a monster I’ve been. But I’m trying. I swear I’m really trying to be better and to make up for what I’ve done. So how about you help me out? If you tell me what I did to you, I’ll do everything in my power to fix it.”
I didn’t expect anything out of my confession. Asher already has his perception about me, and it’ll take a miracle to change it.
He takes me by complete surprise when he sighs as if in defeat. “Some things can’t be fixed.”
I soften my voice. “Try me.”
“You might have lost your memories, but I didn’t.” His voice turns biting. “I remember everything. It’s all I can remember.”
My heart thumps loud and hard as if about to escape my chest. There’s so much hate in his eyes. It’s like a deadly disease eating him from the inside out. There’s a bit of confusion, too, but his hateful side suffocates everything else.
A lump the size of a ball lodges at the back of my throat as I choke the words out. “What did I do? Tell me.”
“You ruined my fucking life, monster.” His usual hardness disappears. His words are a cold, frosty statement that freezes me to the bone.
I open my mouth to say something then a shadow approaches us from the side. Asher releases me, and I stumble backward as if I’ve been burned.
“Rei.” Alex stops beside us with a clipped smile on his face, the one I call his lawyer smile. He usually uses that to ward off unwanted attention, or whenever he has a conversation with Asher.
That is, when they actually do speak.
Alex and Asher might look like father and son, but their conversations are non-existent. I barely see them acknowledge each other in the house.
Either the father-son link is too invisible, or it’s simply broken. Izzy once said Alex pays a shitload of money for Asher’s education, but that’s it.
It’s sad he thinks his relationship with his son is all about money. It also scared me to think perhaps my relationship with my father wasn’t any different.
“Can you come to my office?” Alex asks me.
I throw a glance at Asher in question, but he’s clenching his fists and looking away.
“Why?” I ask.
“Detective Daniels is back.” He grinds his molars. “This time, he has a warrant.”
The atmosphere in Alex’s office couldn’t be any more suffocating.
There’s this smell in the air, something potent and thick. It’s not the scent of the coffee in front of the detective or the scotch at the minibar.
I sit on the sofa opposite Detective Daniels, my hands resting on my knees and my pulse skyrocketing.
It doesn’t help that Asher decided to join us. It’s the first time I’ve seen him come into his father’s office of his own accord.
Letting my hair camouflage my gaze, I peek at him from under my lashes. He’s still in his shorts from the workout and just threw on a T-shirt. Usually, he’d be watching me back, but he’s not now.