Everything is going well. Today is Jackson’s first day of kindergarten, and I know I should be downstairs fixing his lunch, but Denton is more than capable of entertaining Ruby and making the packed lunch at the same time. It was this morning when I realized I should be PMSing hard and I’m not. As soon as the idea popped into my head, I knew I wouldn’t be able to settle. I have to know.
I check my watch. Another minute and I will know. I mean, I can’t be pregnant. We were careful. The Beverly Wilshire can’t possibly have worked its magic again. Can it?
I don’t know what’s taking Robin so long to get ready this morning. I think she thinks if she drags this out, it will keep Jackson away from kindergarten a little longer. I know she’s worried about his first day. It’s going to be hard to let go, but Jackson is ready for this. He’s bouncing around the kitchen in excitement.
Ruby pouts up at me, her face the double of Robin’s. I smile.
“What’s wrong?”
“I want to go school too.” She frowns.
I pick her up and laugh.
“Soon enough, Rubes, soon enough.”
I put her back down and hand Jackson his lunch.
“Put this in your backpack.”
Robin finally comes down the stairs. She laughs as the kids run to her, wrapping their little arms around her legs. She crouches down and hugs them.
“Have you got everything?” she asks Jackson.
He nods.
“Yup. Daddy packed my bag.”
Robin nods and stands back up.
“Sorry,” she mouths at me.
I shake my head. She has nothing to be sorry for. We head out in the usual chaos that comes with two small children. We finally are all in the car, strapped in and ready to go. I head for the school. Robin sits nervously beside me, twiddling with her hair.
“It’ll be fine. He’ll be fine,” I whisper.
She nods. “I know,” she whispers back. “I just wish they didn’t have to grow up.”
“What are you whispering about?” Jackson demands from the back seat.
“I was just telling your dad that if you’re good today at school, we could all go out for pizza. But you’ve ruined the surprise now, so we won’t go.” Robin laughs.
Jackson nods his head vigorously.
“I’ll be good. Please, can we go?”
“Oh, why not?” Robin says.
The two kids cheer. I pull the car into the school’s parking lot, and we all get out. Robin checks three times that Jackson has his bag. He does. The wait feels like forever, and Robin’s nerves are starting to rub off on me.
Jackson isn’t at all fazed. He’s spotted a few boys he knows, and they’re running around playing a game. Ruby is a little more cautious. She watches them with longing in her eyes, but she stands firm by our sides, her hand in Robin’s.
Finally, the doors open and Mrs. Fletcher, the kindergarten teacher, comes out and calls the children to her. This causes a flurry of action as children run back to say their goodbyes. Jackson comes to us. We hug him, and he’s gone in a flash, eager to join the class. I’m relieved he’s not one of the kids who hang back crying. It would break Robin’s heart.
Mrs. Fletcher nods to her teaching assistant, who begins to lead the children inside as she makes her way around the criers, trying to coax them away from their parents.
“Mommy? You’re hurting me,” Ruby says.
I look down. Robin is gripping her hand too hard. She instantly releases it and crouches down to hug Ruby.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she says.
Ruby shrugs. “S’alright,” she says.
I lead them away from the school before one of us has a damned breakdown—I’m no longer certain it would be Robin and not me. We get back in the car.
“Drop Ruby off at the day care first,” Robin says as I indicate to go in the direction of her office. “I still have time.”
I don’t say anything yet. Not while Ruby is in the car, but I have a feeling Robin wants a damned good cry.
We both escort Ruby to the day care, which excites her no end. She waves a cheery goodbye to us and heads for the sandbox. I turn to comfort Robin, and I’m surprised to see she’s not upset, she’s grinning, a wicked look in her eye.
“I thought, seeing as I have some time to kill, that we could go up to your office,” she says.
She bites her lip and gives me a suggestive wink.
“I’d like nothing more, but I don’t have a condom with me,” I say.
She grins at me.
“It doesn’t really matter…damage is done.”
My jaw drops.
“Are you serious?” I demand.
She nods, laughing with me. I pull her into my arms and kiss her full on the lips outside of my building. I pull back and see tears of joy in her eyes. I know I have tears in my eyes too.