He looked at Alexander again, his green eyes wide and pleading. He looked like an innocent, vulnerable kid again. “Don’t tell him I know. Please.”
Alexander pressed his lips together but nodded shortly.
“Thanks.” Gabriel placed a hand on the door’s handle but paused. “You know, when I was sixteen, I damaged my spine. Everyone thought it was a career-ending injury. I was scared as hell. What if all the doctors were right and I couldn’t walk again? So I kept putting it off—if I didn’t try walking, I couldn’t fall, after all.” A wistful, soft smile appeared on his face. “But Jared—he was my physio at the time—he told me if I didn’t try, I wouldn’t not fall, either. So I tried. And now I’m the best winger in the world.”
“And the humblest too,” Alexander said with a snort, turning on the windshield wipers to clear the snow. “Thanks, I got the moral of the story, but it’s unnecessary. I don’t kid myself anymore.” Alexander smiled ruefully. “I can’t stay away from him.”
Gabriel nodded without a smile. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely, opening the door. “I get it. Good luck.”
“You, too,” Alexander said and started the engine. “Don’t break my cousin’s heart.”
Gabriel’s answer was lost in the howling wind and swirling snow. Maybe it was for the best.
Chapter 21
Alexander came to a halt outside the familiar door and lifted his hand to knock but paused.
Christ, it was crazy. What was he doing there at this hour? The rational thing to do would be to wait until tomorrow instead of showing up at one in the morning like an addicted man in need of a fix—which wasn’t far from the truth. Christian and his grandmother were asleep for sure, and Christian was probably pissed at him for practically kicking him out of the car after kissing him first. Not to mention that Christian had given no indication that he wanted to be more than just friends. Christian didn’t do relationships. And Christian had said he wanted Jared.
Alexander gritted his teeth. No. He hadn’t imagined the hunger and need in Christian’s kisses, hadn’t imagined Christian lean into his touch. This thing—this helpless attraction—couldn’t be one-sided. He didn’t know what he would do if it was one-sided. Nothing good. Alexander had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t take it well if Christian said he wasn’t interested. The mere thought made him restless and anxious. He didn’t want to be in Jared’s situation. Unlike his cousin, Alexander didn’t think he was capable of watching Christian with someone else. His self-control was nowhere good enough for that.
Realizing his fists were clenched hard at his sides, Alexander forced them to relax. Fuck. Maybe suppressing and avoiding emotions for years really had been a bad idea: he didn’t know how to deal with this at all. Christian sometimes jokingly called him a creep. Alexander had a bad feeling that it might not be far from the truth. He felt like a faucet with a broken handle: once open, it couldn’t be closed again. He had the potential to turn into a creepy stalker if Christian rejected him. Jesus. Christian had better not reject him.
Leaning against the wall, Alexander pulled out his cell phone and called Christian.
He had to wait a long time until Christian answered.
“Huh?” he mumbled, his voice sleepy and not entirely awake. His eyes were probably still closed. “Who are you and why the fuck are you calling in the middle of the night?”
“Do you really want Jared?”
Silence.
“Alec?” There was the sound of mattress springs.
Alexander licked his lips, imagining Christian in bed, his skin warm, his hair tousled from sleep, eyes sleepy and lips a bit swollen—
“Alexander?”
“Do you really want him?” he said, his voice harsher than he intended. He couldn’t help it.
Another silence.
“Are you jealous?” Christian said, a bit hesitantly.
Alexander drew a deep breath in. “Maybe.”
Christian let out a choked laugh. “Shit, this is really fucking with my head.”
Alexander thought it was only fair, considering Christian had completely ruined his orderly, rational life. “Do you want Jared?”
Christian sighed. “Anyone told you you’re like a dog with a bone? No, I don’t want Jared. Happy now? And why are you calling me at this hour?”
“Come out.”
“What?”
“Come out. I’m here, outside.”
There was a moment’s silence. “Are you seriously saying you’re outside my place at one in the morning?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I was in the neighborhood,” Alexander said.
“And decided to come for a friendly visit, huh?”
“Something like that.”
“Creep,” Christian murmured softly and hung up.
A minute later, he heard the sound of the lock click from the inside, and Alexander’s body tensed.
The door opened and Christian stepped outside and closed the door again. He was wearing only a pair of black boxers. Christian flushed. “The floorboards are very creaky,” he said, rather defensively, rubbing at his eyes. “I was afraid Grandma will wake up if I move around too much. She’s a light sleeper.”