“No, but I do have an ex-girlfriend I eagerly left behind in another state.”
Why does that make my heart sink a little lower? Is he contemplating going home? Going back to her? I have to ask. “I see. So this is your temporary stop? Will you go back when you find closure?” Like I did.
Although…I also had to come back because I lost my job and was evicted. Cooper doesn’t seem to have monetary issues, judging by this incredible house and pool.
He lifts a brow, looking slightly mischievous. “Is that a little dejection I hear in your voice? A hint of jealousy maybe?”
I sputter a laugh and shove him because, for some reason, that smile tugging the corner of his mouth up makes me feel flirty and light. And yes, it was most definitely a flirty shove. The kind where my hand lingers a little too long on his bicep, liking the way his muscle flexes under my touch.
One thing is certain: there’s some kind of chemistry between Cooper and me. I just don’t know if he feels it with whichever woman he’s currently with at the moment or if this is something different.
“Not in the least. I was just wondering if I should line up a different guru to train me in the ways of living dangerously, or if you’ll be sticking around.”
He smiles at me over the side of his shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And then my eyes take in the very moment he runs his teeth across his bottom lip. I track the motion, feeling mesmerized and buzzed even though I haven’t had anything to drink. In this dream, it feels like real life is far away—unreachable. Cooper is thrilling, sweet, inviting, and a little dangerous. Just looking at his lips makes mine tingle. They know he would be the most devastating kisser. Suddenly, I have to know. My heart pounds almost painfully, trying to remind me with obnoxious thuds that this is probably not something I should be doing. But I’m already living dangerously tonight, so what’s one more tiny bit of adventure?
I’m staring at his lips and, before I realize it, leaning in. Because my eyes have not left his lips, I see when he releases them from his teeth and they part, his chest expanding with air. My insides are burning, and all I want is to kiss him and be kissed by him.
I press forward, and he stays perfectly still…until I get about an inch from his mouth and he pulls back. He doesn’t turn away, but he leans back from me ever so slightly, enough to get the message across that this kiss of mine is not going to be received. It takes me a second to fully register what is happening.
But when it does, realization crashes into me like I jumped out of a plane without a parachute.
He’s turning me down. Embarrassment slaps me in the face, and I’m afraid to give rejection a name. So instead, I play it off like I don’t care one bit that he doesn’t want to kiss me and shoot up to my feet. Water sloshes down my legs and cascades from my shirt, making it sound as if I’m peeing a waterfall. It only serves to remind me that I’m not like a normal, sexy woman who, when placed in this situation, would have taken off her clothes and had a delicious night of skinny-dipping with this hot man. No, I had to stay fully clothed and bare my entire soul to him instead. Wonderful. Just what men want.
Drew will be happy to hear that he has nothing to worry about with Cooper. He’s just like Levi’s dad—in other words, he likes every woman besides me.
I need to get away from him.
I turn and step up onto the ledge, but Cooper reaches out and wraps his hand around my calf. It’s warm and possessive and makes me want to cry because I know he doesn’t mean the gesture the way it’s coming across. “Lucy, wait. Let me explain—”
“You don’t have to explain anything, Cooper. We’re good. All good! I’m fine. Really fine. Awesome, even.”
He squeezes my calf. “Just listen to me—”
I shut my eyes tight and smile tensely. “Seriously, please, I’m begging you—can we not talk about it? Will you just take me home, please?” I’m so close to crying, which makes this even worse.
He hears the plea (and wobble) in my voice, sighs, and lets go of me so he can stand. “Alright, fine.” He looks away and whispers a curse under his breath then looks back at me. “Let’s at least go inside first so I can get you a towel.”
Inside? His house? Ugh, I’d rather die of hypothermia right about now than have to endure any more awkwardness with Cooper.
I rejected Lucy, and I’ve never ever felt like a worse human being. I wish someone would punch me. Just right in the freaking face. Knock some teeth out, make my nose bleed—the works. Instead, Lucy trails behind me like the most heart-wrenching sight of a wounded puppy you’ve ever seen. I want to scoop her up and snuggle her into oblivion so her tail will wag again.
I can hear her clothes sloshing dramatically with every step toward my back door. I try to slow my pace to walk side by side with her, but she’s not having it. She slows down too, and now we look like we’re both moving in slow motion, the most ridiculous scene of two adults anyone has ever witnessed. I hate that she’s embarrassed, and I hate that I’m the one who made her feel that way. But what can I say? I panicked.
Normally, a kiss wouldn’t be a big deal, and I’d be happy to oblige her need for physical contact. I guess that’s the point. Lately, I’ve been that guy you go to for a fun time. No strings attached; no commitment needed. I once let a complete stranger kiss me in a bar without us ever saying a single word to each other. She was eyeing me from a few stools down, and we were trading flirtatious glances back and forth, and the next thing I know, she’s spinning my chair around and making out with me right there in front of everyone. My only thought at the time was, Why not? I’m not in a relationship anymore.
But when Lucy leaned forward, time stopped, and I had a hundred thoughts flood my mind at once. Most of those thoughts were how much I really wanted to kiss her, how good she’d feel against my lips, but then I thought about how much I’d like to have a relationship with her. I don’t want something no-strings-attached with her. I don’t want to be this guy anymore—the one who floats around aimlessly like a twenty-year-old with nothing but time ahead of him. Actually, I didn’t even act that way in my early twenties. I’ve always wanted a family and a steady relationship. But after Janie, I just lost my way for a second. Lucy’s bringing me back, reminding me of old dreams I forgot I had, reminding me what it’s like to want to see someone day in and day out, to plan for the holidays together and have inside jokes no one else will get. I’m ready for all that again.
But then I remembered Drew and his look of warning, because he has no idea I am capable of or desire any sort of a long-term relationship. I never told him about Janie. I just wanted to leave her back in Charlotte along with my humiliation. So basically, he thinks I will certainly, one hundred percent, without fail, break Lucy’s heart, and that’s a fair assumption since that’s the only side of me he’s ever seen.
All of this, coupled with the fact that Lucy is not the type of girl to have random, meaningless make-outs, made me realize she feels a connection between us too. Maybe she was just trying to continue the theme of the evening and live dangerously, but I don’t think so. I think she likes me.
So yeah, I cut off any chance of a kiss because I feel like if we’re going to do this, we need to do it right. I have to talk to Drew first and get his brotherly blessing before I start anything up with her, and I have to make sure she knows what she’s getting into with me. She’s special. Loving, and full of heart, and has a child. I don’t intend to make her life any more difficult than it already is, so I want to get this right from the get-go.
Although, I realize, as I open the door for Lucy and she won’t meet my eye, that I might have just sabotaged any chance of a good start. She thinks I’m not interested in her. Maybe even that I’m not attracted to her, which makes me want to groan because just looking in that woman’s eyes makes my pulse skitter. She’s breathtaking, even soaked to the bone and hair turning into wild, frizzy curls. It’s taking everything in me not to say forget it and wrap my arms around her.
But nope…nope, nope, nope. Can’t do that. Not to a best friend’s sister. The repercussions would be too great.