They hardly spoke on the way, and then, once they left behind the pickup and went along the trail, the uncomfortable silence became even more noticeable, because the beauty of nature wasn’t enough of an excuse to keep their mouths shut. Beast couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about the encounter in the garage. Even during a midday stop, when they ate their lunch at the bank of a picturesque river, Beast’s brain was occupied with the demon living under the same roof as them and the matters this being chose to entrust to King and Laurent.
The trip was about getting away from it all, and yet it seemed that the farther they went into the woods, the harder it was to forget that fucking house.
“Have you planned where we will camp?” Laurent asked with a subtle smile, which had been a constant along the way. He’d been making an effort to communicate and be pleasant, but Beast couldn’t get himself to forget the sour note on which it started.
“Not really. We’ll just get off the track and choose a place. At the lake, maybe?” Beast suggested, annoyed that even his throat felt tight despite it being several hours now. He was burning on the inside, and the greenery that was supposed to be soothing only brought him more misery.
The world had made a false promise to him. He was here with a man whose presence brought so much joy into his life, and yet the truth about him was constantly denied to Beast. It almost felt like the good days could end at any moment, with Laurent gone before he could have his second eye surgery.
So Beast tried to calm down, smell the earth, and the fresh plants. He tried enjoying the wind in his hair and religiously re-applied sun lotion to the bits of skin that weren’t covered by clothes. He threw sticks to Hound and tried to discuss neutral topics. Nothing worked. It was as if his mind got stuck in a whirlwind centered around King’s and Laurent’s secrets, and he couldn’t find a way out.
“I always used to like walking, but I don’t think I’ve ever been on a trip like this.” Laurent pulled on Beast’s shirt to make him stop, and took deep breaths. He was flushed, with his nose pink from the sun, but he still smiled at Beast. “You take long strides.”
“Yes,” said Beast and dug into his pocket before handing Laurent the sun cream. “You’re gonna get burned.”
Laurent applied the cream to his face, but without a mirror, he left streaks of it all over. “I was thinking about the misery of the trip I made from France as a child, and how I would now be able to do the same, flying in the sky in less than a day.” He stood closer to the edge of a cliff overlooking a dark sea. “Isn’t it a wonderful world now?”
Beast swallowed hard, watching the wind play with Laurent’s long hair. The breeze tangled the strands with invisible fingers and made Beast irrationally jealous. With Hound rolling in a thatch of grass, the moment really felt like they were the only two people alive, and yet the secret Laurent was holding from Beast was a thorn in his side.
“It can be very grim. There’s war. And people are dying somewhere from hunger. But it is nice here.”
Laurent groaned and turned around to face Beast. He held his hair up to air his sweaty back, but that only reminded Beast of the brand on his nape. “Beast! Don’t make it all so dreary. How about we camp here? I want to smell the ocean when I wake up.” Even with the streaks of cream on his face and his nose wrinkled, Laurent was so handsome Beast could eat him up like he was a Poptart. The kind with pink icing.
He swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t want Hound to be so close to a cliff when we sleep. Let’s go to the lake.”
Laurent’s shoulders sagged. “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.” The sunny energy was gone, and he started walking down the hill. At least the brand was once again obscured by his hair.
They started the slow descent toward the lake, heading into a valley that soon opened between them when the light was slowly dwindling. “Do you want to go back someday? To the place where you were born?” asked Beast, remembering what Laurent said when he was looking out into the ocean.
Laurent looked over his shoulder, taking his time to answer. “Yes. I would like that. Knight’s showed me pictures, but that’s not the same, is it?”
Beast shook his head, and it suddenly dawned on him that he would likely have trouble traveling into another country looking the way he did. The reality of not being able to fulfil yet another of Laurent’s wishes clung to him like a layer of burnt skin, and he hardly spoke until they reached the pleasant, secluded spot by the water where he’d camped once before.