Holly parks her car next to Dad’s. “I think we both know that will never happen, Zar.”
We do. King would never take away our chance to have a relationship with Dad, so he’ll never stop him coming over, although I’m fairly certain he’d like nothing more than to do that.
When I open the car door to get out, I hear Mum and Dad talking heatedly. It sounds like she’s finally lost her shit with him.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Linc. You haven’t been a good father for a long time.”
“Fuck, Lily, you’re being melodramatic. I’ve been doing the best I can. Tabitha and the baby need me at the moment; I can’t exactly drop everything and rush back to my ex at the drop of a hat.”
Holly and I are at the bottom of Mum’s front steps where she and Dad are arguing when Mum’s voice drops low. It’s her you’ve-really-fucked-up-now voice; the one I’ve always done my best never to bring out in her. “It wasn’t your ex asking you to do stuff; it was your daughter. And she didn’t ask you for the world. She called you once in the last six months, and trust me when I say that you not answering that call or returning it has done the kind of damage to your relationship that will take you a long time to fix.”
When Mum’s gaze lands on me, Dad turns and sees us. “Hi girls,” he says to us both, but it’s me his eyes are on. They linger for a beat before he turns back to Mum. “I’ve got stuff to do, so this conversation will have to be finished another day.”
His words hurt. He may as well have met me at the bottom of the stairs and told me he no longer thinks of me as his daughter, because that’s how they make me feel.
He jogs down the stairs and quickly kisses Holly and me on the cheek. He then stops briefly and looks at me. “I love you, baby. I hope you know that.”
I don’t get the chance to reply to that before he takes off towards his car. He throws out one last thing to Mum before leaving. “We’ll bring Robbie over after school today.”
Disappointment and rejection fill me as I watch him reverse out of the driveway.
“Shit, Zara,” Mum says, coming down the stairs. “I wish you hadn’t turned up in the middle of that.”
“Why? I’m glad I heard it, because now I know for sure that he doesn’t care about us. I hope you’re not going to defend him again.” So help me, if she does, I might lose my shit.
She shakes her head. “No. I’m done with defending him.” She sighs and I hear every bit of her exhaustion. “I’m too tired to keep doing that.”
“Okay,” Holly says, “Enough about him. I’m hot and I need to be in the pool asap.”
Mum seems surprised. “You girls are hanging out here today?”
“Yep,” Holly says. “It’s a girls’ day.”
The smile Mum gives us reveals her pure joy at this news. “God, I need this today. The kids have been a handful while King’s been away. I need a day to just chill and do nothing.”
“Has Gran got them today?”
“Yes, and she’s keeping them overnight, so I have many hours in front of me in which I’m not going to cook, clean, or think about anything. And if King calls, I’m not answering. He’ll just have to do with texts today.”
I frown. “Since when does King prefer a call over a text?”
Mum’s eyes widen as she loops her arm through mine. “Oh you have no idea. This pregnancy has turned him into a dictator who calls me twice a day most days. It’s ridiculous.”
“Ah, I hate to break it to you, Mum,” Holly says, “but King has always been a dictator.”
“Well,” Mum says as we make our way up the stairs, “whatever the next level is after dictator, he’s reached it. Honestly, I’m ready for this baby to be born and for him to calm down.”
While it doesn’t feel good to have seen Dad and been hurt by him again, it does feel good to be with Mum and Holly. I may not have many friends left these days, but I have my mother and my sister. And a thousand shallow friends could never give me what they do.
“Mum,” I say softly, “I have something to tell you.”
I don’t know if she hears it in my voice of if it’s her motherly intuition, but her eyes come to mine filled to the brim with love and tenderness, and she guides me into the lounge room where the three of us sit while I pour my heart out to her.
If I thought telling her would be hard, I was wrong. But then, I should have known that if there was ever going to be one person in the world I could open my soul to and receive nothing but acceptance, it would be my mother. Because while I may have struggled in my relationship with her during my teens, I’ve since learned that her belief in me is absolute.
19
Fury