The party started to die down around midnight, with people gradually leaving until there was only Ryder, Mason and I left.
“Any luck?” Sawyer asked after I tried calling Matt. Again.
I shook my head. “I’m going to stop by his place again on the way home.” I only drank one glass of wine the whole night and I wondered if, subconsciously, I was staying purposely sober in case Matt needed rescuing from somewhere.
“No need,” Mason said, nodding toward the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the large, graveled court outside. “He’s here.”
When I jumped from my chair to see, it was immediately obvious that he’d been drinking which ignited a fire of anger in the pit of my stomach. He stumbled across the court, tripping over his own feet and sending one of the tall, stone flowerpots crashing to the ground. It was only when he barreled through the entryway into the open living space, his unsteady feet causing him to collide with the doorjamb, the anger morphed into worry.
His swollen eyes made contact with mine as his uncoordinated hands tried to wipe the tears from his beaming cheeks.
“Matt?” I probed gently, tentatively stepping closer to him.
“It-it’s my mom,” he said, the words cracking as they left his lips. “She’s dead.”
I knew there was nothing I could say that could possibly console him, but if holding him absorbed even a tiny fraction of the pain he was feeling it would be worth it. So that’s what I did. Speechless, I wrapped both arms around his body, my hand cradling the back of his neck as I pressed his head to my shoulder.
“What happened?” I asked, breaking away and leading him to the plush couch. I looked up at Sawyer whose face, like everyone else’s, was pale with shock. I mouthed ‘water’ to him as I placed my hand on Matt’s shoulder and encouraged him to sit down.
“Sh-she’s dead,” Matt stuttered again, incoherent from a mixture of grief and alcohol. “She’s fucking dead.”
Sawyer returned with a glass of water, handing it me because Matt seemed completely oblivious to anyone’s presence. He took up the spot on the couch on the other side of Matt, whereas Ryder, Mason and Jake hadn’t moved at all. I took Matt’s hand, wrapping his fingers around the glass and then lifting it to his mouth.
He took a small sip and went to lower the glass, but I pushed it back to his lips. “You need to drink it,” I said firmly. Absentmindedly, he did as he was told. While he drank the water, Jake made a pot of coffee and Ryder and Mason decided to leave and give Matt some space.
The silence was deafening. Every time I tried to speak the words became lodged in my throat. Not once did I break contact with his body, my hand refusing to leave his knee. It felt like if I did, he would crumble into a thousand pieces. I needed to know what’d happened, but until he was sober, I doubted even he would be able to process it.
I could physically see the moment the alcohol began evaporating from his system. His hands stopped shaking and his ragged breaths turned into deep sighs.
“Are you ready to tell us what happened?” Sawyer asked, placing a reassuring hand on Matt’s shoulder.
“They, um, they said she had a heart attack.” The words splintered as they left his quivering lips. “I got a call from the hospital this afternoon. Said they were treating her. But by the time I got there she…she…”
My chest ached as my heart broke for him, and for his mom. I squeezed his knee a little tighter.
“And I don’t care what people say about them looking peaceful, or like they’re asleep. She looked dead. Gray. Waxy. Fucking dead.”
“Why didn’t you call me? Call any of us?”
“Because that would mean it’s true.”
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry.”
“What am I supposed to do now? Who do I call? How the fuck do you arrange a funeral?”
“Tonight, you do nothing,” I said, speaking from experience. “Tonight you rest. Absorb it. Try and get some sleep.”
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow I’ll help you sort out the necessary arrangements. We all will.”
“I can’t believe she’s gone. Gone. Forever. I need a drink.”
“Um, no. I think you’ve had enough. Tomorrow is going to be tough. You don’t need a hangover adding to that.”
“Alex is right,” Sawyer agreed. “Look, mate, why don’t you stay here tonight? Jake and I can call the funeral director in the morning. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“Or I could stay at your place?” I suggested to Matt before turning to Sawyer and Jake. “I’m sure you guys have, um, celebrating to do.”
“Holy shit.” Matt sighed and palmed his forehead. “I missed it. Guys I’m so sorry.”
“Matt, you have nothing to apologize for,” Jake assured.
Matt smiled weakly and glanced down at Sawyer’s hand. “I’m guessing the ring on your finger means you agreed to sign your life away, huh?”