Safe.
But is that enough? Is it enough now, to just be that?
“You’re what you choose to be,” Lu tells me, and for some reason, I feel like crying.
My throat bobs as I pull the hood over my head, the sky bringing a gray, overcast dawn with a prickling on my skin. “What does this have to do with Rip?” I ask quietly.
She lifts a shoulder. “Nothing. Everything. You’ll have to decide that, too, Gildy.”
Lu pats the horse again, slipping a hand into her pocket before pulling out a couple of sugar cubes that she feeds to them. “I will tell you one more thing, though.”
“What?”
She smiles down at the nuzzled snout of the horse before turning that expression on me. “That fae female I saw in the fight circle?” she begins, her voice just a murmur in the cresting dawn. “She was a warrior too. And in my professional opinion, she could be a great one.”
Lu leaves, as light on her feet as always, a bird taking flight.
I get into the carriage silently, and my hand comes down to press against my waist, fingers tapping over my ribbons with a small smile at my lips.
Warrior.
Yes, I think I would like to be that.
Chapter 30
AUREN
“You call that a block? My three-year-old niece could get through that shitty stance!”
Sweat is pouring down my face as I drop my aching arms with a glare sent in Judd’s direction. “I’m trying!”
He’s been dancing circles around me, smacking me around with a wooden sword, while I’ve tried and failed to block him.
He made me a smaller version of a fight circle by dragging his foot through the snow around us, and I’ve been getting my ass handed to me inside of it for well over two hours.
“You’re not trying hard enough,” he counters, coming to stop in front of me. “Where are your instincts? Did you drop them back in Highbell?”
I grit my teeth, wishing I could pluck his mustard-plant hair right from the roots. He grins in my flustered face, like he knows it.
Lu and Osrik are on the sidelines, just the four of us for the second night in a row. After my talk with Lu, I thought long and hard all day in the carriage.
By the time we stopped for the night, I was practically bouncing with nervousness. I wasn’t sure she’d go along with it, but when I asked if she’d help train me, she grinned and led the way, bringing Judd and Osrik along.
We’re careful though, making sure to train far away from camp, away from watching eyes. Tonight, there are only a couple of torches and the glow of a weak moon to light up our space, but it’s enough.
So far, only Judd has gotten into the fight circle with me. I have a feeling I couldn’t handle Lu and Osrik.
Lu, because she’s damn quick on her feet, and even though she’s smaller than Judd, I can tell she’s fierce. And Osrik...the man is a damn beast, and even though he seems to not hate me anymore, his scowl still scares me.
Right now, they’re both drinking on a shared fur outside the circle, calling out the occasional piece of advice, like, “Stop getting hit.”
Really helpful stuff.
“We’re way out here, freezing our asses off so that you can use your ribbons without being seen,” Judd points out with a shake of his head. “But you forget to use them every time.”
I stop to put my hands on my hips, stretching my chest so I can better catch my breath. I didn’t even know it was possible to be this overheated when I’m surrounded by ice.
“It’s not that I forget,” I explain. “I’ve just always taught myself to hide them and hold them back, ever since they sprouted when I was fifteen. It’s been ingrained into me.”