“You don’t want to leave her here,” I say simply. If his clear affection for her didn’t give me a strong enough vibe, his lowkey attempts to impregnate me and lock down a nanny—I’m certain now that’s his end game, whether he realizes it or not—certainly do.
“I don’t know if it’d be fair to take her though, either. I mean, should I really tell her the truth? I’m her brother, as far as she knows. She wouldn’t have a mother if she went with me. I’d have to make something up to explain why hers isn’t around.”
“The mother, I take it she’s from New York. Does she still live there?”
Smiling faintly, he shakes his head. “Nice try. I told you I didn’t want to talk about that.”
“But then I let you have rapey sex with me. If that doesn’t buy me information, what am I doin’ it for?”
Biting back an even bigger smile, he leans over and gives me a kiss. “My affection.”
“Mm, so high maintenance,” I murmur against his lips.
Tugging my bottom lip into his mouth, he sucks on it for a few seconds, then releases it. Still hovering over me, he tells me, “I didn’t hear you complaining.”
“No complaints here,” I agree. “It could be you’ve broken my brain, but no complaints, all the same.” He burrows into my neck next. I’m already naked from the last round, so when he pushes his hand under the thin cover of his crisp sheets, his palm comes directly into contact with my breast. He cups it, massaging it as he kisses my neck. My eyes drift closed as a shudder of pleasure moves through me.
As tempted as I am to let him pull me under, I resist. Puzzling out Carter’s motivations is a game I feel like I’ll be playing for as long as I keep him around, but right now, I’m fairly certain I need to block my womb.
Pulling back so he knows I want to talk more, I tell him, “Obviously you’re not going to try to ruin my life so you have a babysitter though, because that would be a really shitty thing to do.”
“Obviously,” he offers, lightly, playfully. “I would never do anything shitty.”
“Of course not. You’re an angel.”
“Shiniest halo on the block,” he agrees.
“But just in case you were thinking about doing that, don’t. If you and I are still together when you go off to college, we’ll figure something out. I looked it up and it’s about a 7 hour drive from—hopefully—my college to yours, so I don’t think frequent visits would be a realistic possibility. But if you’re staying in the city once the semester is over, maybe I could come stay with you during breaks from school.” Not wanting him to think I’m banking on us lasting forever, I add, “And that’s obviously a very big if, but I’m just saying. If we still want to be together, we’ll figure out a way. No one has to do anything drastic.”
Dragging the tip of his finger over my curve of my shoulder, he watches my face and asks, “How would you feel about the Chloe situation?”
“I would feel better if you told me everything about it.”
He rolls his eyes. “I know that. I meant, how would you feel about her potentially living with me? That’s a lot to ask of you. I’ve had years to get used to all this, but you haven’t. Probably didn’t think when you started dating me, this would be something you’d have to deal with.”
“No, of all the things I knew I would have to deal with, this certainly wasn’t one,” I admit. “But that’s entirely up to you, don’t factor me into that decision. Do whatever you think is best for you and Chloe. I’m flexible. I can adjust.”
“It’s not a dealbreaker, though?” he asks, for verification.
“No, of course not. Chloe’s adorable and I like kids. It wasn’t my plan, certainly, but it’s definitely not a dealbreaker, either. Still no dealbreakers as far as I can see.”
“Huh,” he murmurs, bending his head so he can brush his lips against mine. “Good.”
Looping my arm around his neck, I tug him even closer. “Very good.”
Chapter 34
I can’t shake the vague sense of dread brought on by the dwindling of my remaining weekend hours. It has been so nice spending my time with Carter and not having to deal with reality. Monday will bring with it the stress of homework, the inevitability of Erika glaring at me in the halls, Jake lurking in the shadows like an irritant that won’t stop, and Grace not knowing what to think or how to respond to my being with Carter. Then after all that, I have to endure the awkwardness of going to get birth control and trying to explain to my doctor that I need the fast-acting stuff because I have an uncontrollable boyfriend… but without setting off any alarm bells that will have her handing me domestic abuse pamphlets I don’t need.