Grinning, she shook her head. “You’re a doofus sometimes.”
He winked. “That’s why you love me.”
His words, so playful and meant warmly, had her hand freezing on its way up to stuff her face with another delicious bite. The statement had her throat closing, and she had no choice but to glance away, to hide her expression from him. Though the remark had been said in jest, the words scorched her because they were the truth. A truth she couldn’t admit to him yet, not without knowing how he felt about her. As well as what his reaction would be to her news about the baby.
Would he believe her when she told him the child was his? She knew he’d have questions about how it happened. Heck, she had them herself. How could the pill fail just that one, single time when it had never failed before?
Sure, she’d not slept with Mark that often at the end, but the pill had never let her down before.
She wouldn’t blame him for not believing her, but she prayed, with every ounce of her, that he would have faith in her, in her word. It was so beyond important to her that she felt tears prick her eyes.
Why had this happened?
But even as the wail of a thought floated around her head, she pressed a hand to her belly to comfort the child that was barely more than an orange seed. She couldn’t regret this particular miracle, she just wished it had happened under more secure circumstances.
Circumstances where the orange seed’s father didn’t question how he was becoming a dad.
Hannah’s mind was spinning.
“Hannah?” James asked, apparently spotting the change in her demeanor. “What is it? Is there something wrong?”
She gulped, and with a shaky hand, put the bread back on her plate. Reaching for her glass, she swallowed down some juice then whispered brightly, “Nothing.”
Damn, she was such a chicken!
Why hadn’t she said something then? Now was as good a time as any to spill the beans, because she had to tell him the truth about the baby before they went anywhere. And she knew somewhere was on the cards because James had been the one to invite her here. That meant he wanted more too, but would that still be the case when he knew she came as a ‘buy one get one’ deal?
He studied her a second, then so casually she felt like her heart was about to explode from sheer surprise, he told her, “I love you too, you know. If that’s why you look like you’re about to puke all over the dining table.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” she rasped, glowering at him. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
He glowered back at her, leaning into the table as though he could lean into her personal space. “What is it with you? Why do you have to take everything I do as a damn challenge, Hannah? I mean it, dammit. And you totally ruined the fucking moment. Why have you got to be in my face on every shitting thing,” he said on a growl, then shook his head. At himself, she thought, too stunned even to defend herself. “Why the fuck do I love you even though you don’t trust me, don’t seem to like me most of the time, and can spend weeks ignoring me while I’m suffering the torment of the damned trying to figure out what the fuck is going on between us.”
“I had a lot on my mind,” she managed to choke out.
“What? And I didn’t?” he snarled, slamming his hand against the table.
It was then that she recognized the difference between Mark and James. Had Mark done that, she’d have jumped, eyed him warily, and done her best to try to calm the situation down. Had she always known there was a knife’s edge she had to be careful of? That he was capable of more than she could handle?
With James, she wasn’t sca
red. If anything, she was surprised. He was usually jocular with her, lighthearted. For him to display even an ounce of anger was so rare that she had to take him at his word.
He… loved her.
How had that happened?
How had she failed to see that in his behavior around her?
Emotion gathered in her throat. “I was processing something you can’t even begin to imagine,” she confessed softly. “That’s why I was staying out of your way. I was freaked out, and you couldn’t help. You’d only have made it worse.”
“Why couldn’t I? Why would I have made it worse? Damn it, Hannah, we love each other. We’re supposed to be able to work through these things together,” he declared, shaking the very earth from beneath her feet.
He said it so easily!
Like he really meant it.
“This came as out of the blue to me as it did to you, Hannah. Unless you’ve been pining for me since we first met.” James rolled his eyes at his own words.