She blinked up at me wearily. “Huh?”
“It’s time for bed,” I informed her again, amused at her blank look.
“Where are we?”
“My apartment.”
That had her eyes widening, but she didn’t step back, didn’t move away from me. If anything, she yawned. “Why are we here?”
“Because I want you in my arms tonight as we fall asleep.”
A stillness overcame her at that. “You do?”
I nodded, utterly serious. “I do.”
Though her brow puckered, she murmured, “I’m tired.”
“I am too.” My matter-of-fact statement had her studying me again.
“I don’t understand.”
That had me laughing. “You don’t have to understand anything, baby. Go into the bathroom and get undressed. I’ll bring you something to change into, okay?”
Her nod was stilted, but her movements were fluid as she went where my finger pointed. She looked over her shoulder twice on her short journey over there, but I just nodded and smiled at her encouragingly.
More than anything, I felt her confusion. Not her fear or her surprise. That alone told me I was doing the right thing here.
I wanted her to get used to me in that way. I wanted her to get used to sleeping at my side, to being in my arms. It was a small step to many people, but it would be huge for us.
I wasn’t a saint. These past few months had been hard on me. Abstaining had been tough, but at the same time, totally worth it because it was for her.
I was well aware of how crazy it sounded.
Derek thought I’d finally done it and lost my mind, and Alex, though he was amused by the entire situation, was close to thinking the same. Especially after our conversation last week when I told him we hadn’t had sex yet.
Some might think it was bad form to tell him that, but I told him everything. I trusted him with my life, why not with that information? It was good to share, good to tell him my feelings because they were overwhelming sometimes.
I felt so much and from out of nowhere, it kind of blew me away.
Even now, just watching her toddle off to my bathroom, I felt overwhelmed. I’d thought about her being in here so much, and for so long, that to see her in the flesh in my space had my cock primed and ready for action.
Though the lower half of my body was aggressive, the top half wasn’t. I was so relieved she wasn’t going to fight me on this, so happy
that she was willing to spend the night, I felt shaky with it.
She’d changed my life. Had walked into my life that day and I knew I wouldn’t survive if she walked back out of it again.
Love had never even been on the cards for me. It hadn’t interested me. Being tied to one woman had meant nothing. But that was because it hadn’t made sense, would never begin to make sense to me until she came into my world and showed me how it should be.
I was so much more because of her.
She made me more aware, more effective. My work productivity might have decreased, but the quality? Even Derek was impressed. I’d gone back to my real love; coding. I did it at odd moments through the day. I’d gone into an administrative role ever since I’d made it big and Avalon had set itself up as a beacon of light in the tech world. Why? I’m not sure. I guess, once I’d made that much money, the control freak in me had needed to make certain said money wasn’t going any damn where.
I’d been poor once. Never again.
My love for coding had taken a back seat as a result, but with Jessica at my side? Yeah, it was coming to the fore again.
I stripped off. Casually dumping my clothes on the chair beside the chest of drawers that sat opposite the bed.