“Are you okay, Anthony?” The soft, tentative question pulled a harsh grunt from me, and I jerked my head side to side. “I told you it was hard to watch.”
“It’s okay…” Rasping harshly, my assurance burned my throat, and I stroked Antonya’s belly. She twitched, mouth opening and chubby cheeks stretching as she yawned, and a smile cracked the dry skin of my lips.
I should’ve been there, but I was going to take a page from Hailey’s book. I will be here from now on.
Chapter 13
Hailey
Drumming my fingertips against my knee, I stared absently at the small television mounted on the wall. Antonya snoozed away in her car seat by my feet, but it was the muscular body next to me that tightened my abdomen with nerves.
“Are you sure you want to be here? It’s just my six-week check-up. It’s not a big deal.” Posing my question for the fifth time in about half an hour, I glanced over to watch Anthony nod while he flipped through a woman’s health magazine. Irritation mixed with affection in my chest, and he scanned a flimsy page under furrowed brows before opening his mouth.
“It’s a big deal to me. Why do you keep asking like you don’t want me here?” He wasn’t particularly standoffish, but I couldn’t help but sigh in annoyance. Taking his eyes from the magazine, he stared at me levelly, daring me not to answer. Licking my lips heavily, I leaned back in the uncomfortable office chair before opening my mouth.
“I don’t know, I thought guys were afraid of the gynecologist's office. You know, tampons and periods and stuff.” My half-hearted excuse only pulled a gruff snort from Anthony, and I arched a brow as his expression twisted in disgust.
“You mean boys are afraid, Hailey. My masculinity isn’t threatened by this study about ‘pad-rash’, you know.” Waving the magazine dully, his bland voice caused my lips to twitch into a slight smirk even as he turned his gaze back to it. “Besides, you don’t trust me to watch Antonya alone yet, and you took the morning off for this appointment. We’re getting brunch afterwards. There’s no legitimate reason not to come with you.”
“I don’t not trust you, Anthony…” Trailing off under Anthony’s disbelieving grunt, I reached to rake my hand through my hair even as words failed me. Clenching and releasing my jaw, my slight smirk morphed into a frown; he didn’t seem at all put out by the fact that I just didn’t like the idea of him watching Antonya alone. “I can’t explain it.”
“Which is exactly why we’re going to brunch. I feel like I have more of a relationship with your sister than I do with you, Hailey. I understand that it’s nice to have her around because you trust her, but you need to learn to trust me, too.” The firmness with which Anthony had decided this morning that we were going to brunch resonated deep inside me, and I fell silent. He hadn’t asked me if he could come to my appointment or bring me to brunch; he’d just declared that that was how we were going to spend our morning.
And I had no problem with it even though I knew I should’ve.
“I get it, Hailey—” Drawing my attention, Anthony caught my gaze and held it tightly with a command that rolled up my sternum to slither into my ears. “Going to Kelly’s house is not a bad thing, in fact, it’s a great idea since I had no idea how to do anything. But I got a handle on things now. It’s just for four hours, and you can call me or video chat or whatever you need to do to feel safer. If I can’t handle four hours after 8 days of practicing, I’ll call you immediately.”
“… Immediately… you promise?” Anthony nodded firmly, flashing me a smirk laced in assurance and triumph, and my chest loosened as the uncertainty lodged there lessened. “Okay.”
“Hailey?” The call from the nurse stiffened my spine, and I cast one last look at Anthony before pushing myself up from my seat. Striding across the waiting room, I wrung my fingers absently as the woman let me into the office. “How have you been feeling lately? Any cramps, bloody discharge, anything of note?”
“I’m okay… physically, at least.” My confession earned me a curious glance as we ducked into an exam room, and I sighed heavily. “That guy out there is Antonya’s biological father—he just showed up out of nowhere last week… It’s been really stressful.”
“Is he here for a paternity test?” Shaking my head as I slipped out of my low heels, I stepped on the scale as the past week raced through my mind.
“No, actually, he’s crazy about her. He’s been sleeping on my couch, taking her night feedings… he’s even been going to my sister’s house every day while I’m at work to watch her. Not once has he even hinted any doubt at all that she’s his. But… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
“Ah, so, are you stressed because he’s talking courts?” Shaking my head as I stared at the scale, I held back a sigh even as the nurse frowned over my shoulder. “You’ve lost a lot of weight since you gave birth. Are you eating well?”
“Better than I ever have, honestly?
? but I’m producing a lot of milk. Way too much. I don’t know what to do with it all.” The momentary break from the Anthony conversation was welcome, and I cupped my breasts unabashed as the nurse hummed softly.
“Antonya only eats 4 ounces, but I make 10 easy.”
“I’ll give you a number to the NICU at the hospital, you can donate your breastmilk after a few tests… So, why are you stressed if he’s basically being a dream?” Scribbling my weight on an exam chart, the nurse turned the conversation back to Anthony while I stepped off the scale and back into my shoes.
“I don’t really have a reason… not a viable one, anyway, more like those fantastical fears that’ll never happen but make me worry anyway, you know?” Once again, the nurse nodded, and she offered me a little cup and lid in a bag. “It really sucks.”
“Well, everyone has those fears, but if he’s trying to make it work without getting the courts involved, I think you’re fine. You two, or, you three, I should say… I wouldn’t have thought that you two were essentially complete strangers. Maybe you should stop listening to your worries and just let be.”
The nurse’s words rang in my head through the entire exam, and I emerged from the doctor’s office with a lollipop and some paperwork in hand. My gaze found Anthony easily, and a smile tilted my mouth as he fed Antonya leisurely. Tearing his eyes from her, they narrowed on me as I made my way to the other side of the waiting room.
“How’d it go?” Scanning me intensely, Anthony cocked his head slightly as I sat next to him.
“It was fine. Since I got my corporate promotion, I have reproductive health care, so I got a birth control implant while I was in there. Uh, do you want to finish feeding her while I make this call?” Arching a brow in question, he nodded firmly, and I pulled my purse out from under the chair to fish out my phone.
“I’m going to donate my breastmilk. I don’t have any freezer space left, and it lasts up from six months to a year in there.”