“You don’t have to understand this. You can’t make sense of it. You weren’t the first one he conned. Only Erin and I truly know what he was like, and I’m not telling you this for you to feel pity. I, we, don’t need your pity. What we need is your help. I can’t lose Erin, Josh. You have to see that.”
He licked his lips as he processed her words. The man was smart. Had taken a fortune he’d inherited from his grandparents and had quadrupled it by the time he’d hit thirty. Jamie had often spoken with envy over how quick Josh was, how he could turn his hands to most tasks and make it work for him.
But at the moment, she knew she truly had bewildered him.
“Let me speak to Frank and Janice,” he half whispered. “Let me see what I can do.”
“No, I don’t think that will work. And if you get involved now, they’ll know, and they’ll guard against it. Against you.”
“Against me?” He sounded even more confused, which came as a surprise. Probably to both of them. “I’m like a son to them.”
She closed her eyes and wished things weren’t so complicated. Bowing her head, she rubbed her forehead where an ache had started to gather.
“You had to know Jamie was addicted to coke by the end.” Hell, he’d been addicted at the beginning, but she didn
’t dare bewilder Josh any more than she already had.
He frowned. “Addicted seems a little strong. I know he used it when he partied. But Jamie always said he had things under control.”
The laugh that escaped her lips was more of a bark than anything else.
“Jamie had nothing under control. Nothing. Not himself, not our marriage, not our finances. We were running on the knife's edge of debt, just keeping ahead each month. If he hadn’t passed away when he did, what assets were left might not have been able to pay off all his debts. Frank and Janice blamed me for them of course, but they shut up when I showed them how Jamie had spent his money.”
Gosh, she was so sick of having to find evidence to justify her words. Weariness filled her at the thought, because she was having to do that now. She was under no illusion. Just because she’d stunned Josh, didn’t mean he wouldn’t look into what she was saying. Didn’t mean he’d take her words at face value.
In this crappy world she lived in, this ‘1%’ society, the poor relation could never be trusted. Her word could never hold the most sway over Jamie’s. It was why she’d never tried to leave him. Why she’d never even tried to plan an escape.
She’d known he’d always come after her. Had known from the first time he’d hit her that there was no escape. He had the means and the jealous zeal to never let her leave. And that was before their son had come into the picture. A child he didn’t particularly want, but who was his, his belonging, his possession, and therefore had to remain close.
Josh’s frown deepened into an outright scowl. “How was he in debt? Jamie always said…”
She shot him a bitter smile. “Let me guess. That I had expensive tastes in clothes, that I needed jewelry, and that I wasn’t happy unless we had a Ferrari.” It wasn’t the first time she’d heard that bullshit.
Her in-laws had been the first to spout it at her when they’d seen the state of Jamie’s bank records.
He cleared his throat. “Well, yeah.”
Samantha shook her head. “By the end, it was hard putting food on the table with the bare amount Jamie gave me. That was how crazy it had gotten. Jamie was taking more coke than ever. I’m certain that’s what brought on the heart attack. He barely came down before he had to get high again, and he very rarely slept. It was like walking on a minefield living with him. I was relieved when he went out to party, it was the only time I felt safe. Not just for me, but for Erin too.”
Josh jolted forward. “He abused Erin as well?”
She hesitated. “He was very jealous of Erin. Said he took up too much of my time. Time that should have been spent on him.” Sucking in a shaky breath, she whispered, “I was scared every damn day that that would be when he’d start on him. But it never came to that. Thank God.”
Josh stared at her blankly, and then came the question she’d been dreading, “Why do you think Frank and Janice won’t listen to me?”
Dread filled her at having to make this confession. “Because, by the end, Jamie was certain we were having an affair, and he complained to them about it.”
Chapter 3
Samantha
“Hey baby,” Samantha said, her voice like a singsong.
Erin scampered over towards her, arms outstretched. She quickly picked him up and hugged him tightly. Already at four, he was getting more independent. She dreaded the day when hugging and kissing mommy were no longer at the top of his agenda when he saw her.
Praying that that day was way in the future, she buried her face in his silky hair that smelled like baby shampoo and grass. The latter had her lips twitching.
“Have you been playing outside with Mayor?”