All I had to do was get to that damn house and life decided I didn't need to get there. I crossed my fingers that I could get through before my phone died, but I felt the panic as it rose up in my chest. It felt like an iron fist had clenched around my heart and started to squeeze.
Panic. I'd had a panic disorder since I was young and it had mostly gotten better over the years. I blamed the flare up on the fact that my mom had died and I hadn't been there. The guilt that rose in my stomach and choked me said that I'd done something wrong. Now the car wouldn't start and my phone was dying.
What if I get stranded out here all night?
I didn't have a blanket or a thicker jacket that I could cuddle up under. All I had were some spare clothes and some snacks in the back, but if it kept snowing I wondered if I'd get stranded for more than a few hours.
"This is not my day," I said out loud to myself.
All I could do was sit and wait. I plugged in my phone, but leaving the battery on wasn't going to end well either. I knew it would run out and the slow way it charged in the car meant I might not even have a full battery by the time my car decided to die for good.
I wished I'd stayed in Las Vegas. Part of me felt obligated to go through my mom’s house and sort everything out, but I knew it was bad luck to come back to my childhood home. I didn't have any ties to Iowa anymore. I'd stopped talking to my old friends from here years ago and I'd never had any family besides my grandparents and my mother. The place held nothing for me now.
So why am I back? I didn't owe the woman who'd given birth to me a thing.
Still, I felt responsible.
I leaned my car seat back and propped my legs up on the dashboard. At least I could stretch out. I knew that wasn't much, but if I didn't find the good in the bad I'd end up upset and I couldn't afford that. I'd spent so long trying to stuff down my emotions. If I let them go I knew I’d be in a world of trouble. I sniffled and rubbed my hand over my cheek shutting it all back down again.
Sometimes, I did miss having someone that could help me deal with things. A friend, a comforting voice. Something. I couldn't even call back to Vegas and talk to my bestie.
Seriously, toughen up. Do not sit here and cry.
I steeled myself and stopped sniffling right away. It was something I'd learned to do as a young girl and it continued to come in handy. I never cried over anyone anymore. That wasn't going to change now.
Chapter 2
Peter
I loaded the last of the groceries into my truck and made sure they were secure. All I needed to do now was get the feed that I needed and pet food for Rory. He was my eager golden lab that sat by my side at night and ate me out of house and home. The last time I'd waited a night to get food the next day, he'd somehow managed to open the fridge and decimate everything inside. I loved the mutt, but he drove me insane at times.
"All set?" Pat asked as he handed me the last of the bags.
I nodded. "I should be."
"Make sure," he said worriedly. "I heard there's a storm coming in tonight. It's already getting pretty bad out here." He frowned as he looked around. "You shouldn't linger around."
"I still have some time," I said as I clapped a hand onto his shoulder. "Don't worry so much."
I knew that was like asking the sun not to shine. Pat was an old family friend and he always worried about me since the time I was a pain in his ass stealing cherries from his yard and getting yelled at. Now he was older, white consumed every inch of his hair and he looked at me like he was constantly worried that I was going to fall apart at any moment.
"Just be careful," Pat said as he looked up at the clouds. "I've seen it like this before and it gets bad. You might be snowed in for a while. I wanna make sure you don't starve up there."
I grinned. "The only thing I'm going to be starved from is lack of attention."
"You need a wife," Pat said and grinned as he relaxed a bit.
"That's the last thing I need," I chuckled as I stared at him in mock horror. "Being shoved into a confined space with a woman for more than a few hours seems like a bad way to go."
He shook his head. "You're the most ridiculous man I've ever met. How long are you going to run around town being a playboy, hmm? It's gonna get old eventually."
"You say that, but I don't see it happening. What could be better than getting to know a woman for a while and then going on about my life?"
"Having a loving family to come home to?"
"That sounds awful," I laughed.
Pat shook his head and waved me off. "Get out of here. If your mom was still around she would have slapped you upside the head for the way you act."