“Don’t lie to me,” I say quietly as my resolve is steeled and renewed. Countless liars and cheaters flit through my mind, reminding me why I put up that wall so long ago. “Don’t treat me like an idiot who didn’t hear what you said. That’s where I draw the line. This song and dance? I’ve heard it all before.”
Chapter 61
ETHAN
The pain in her eyes was fucking terrible to see last night. But the cold detachment I see in her eyes now is a thousand times worse. I almost want to hand her a knife and tell her to cut me to pieces, because that’s what it feels like she’s doing right now.
I’ve just been looped into the circus of assholes who came before me. I’ve just been discounted as one of the many who’ve hurt her. And it’s all my fault. I went too far instead of just telling her I was pissed.
No. I felt like I had to hurt her much worse than she’d hurt me. And I knew better. Now she’s pulling away, and there’s no one to blame but myself.
I’ve gone and followed my uncle’s footsteps after promising him I never would.
“Bella, I know what I said, and I know what I did, but I swear I’ve never touched Star. You can even ask her—”
Her bitter laughter cuts me off, and I replay that last bit, admitting it was really fucking stupid to say aloud.
“Yeah. I’ll make sure to call her tonight. Maybe we can even go shopping together,” she states flatly.
When she tries to walk around me, I block her path, and she crosses her arms over her chest while glaring at me. No pain is in her eyes right now. No, she’s pissed.
Except, she’s not the kind of pissed I’m used to. She’s cold and pissed. She’s the Bella no one can touch right now. I’ve never met that Bella before, and I wish I wasn’t face to face with her right now.
“I wanted to hurt you—”
“Congratulations. Mission accomplished,” she interrupts.
“—but it was stupid. I get that. I was hurting, because I fucking felt miserable all week, and you were dodging me. I thought you were done, and I didn’t feel worthy of a fucking explanation. It was killing me, Bella.”
Her coldness melts away just a little, enough for the Bella I know to show through the cracks.
“I tried calling hundreds of times, sent texts, and even went to your house. You weren’t home, and you wouldn’t call me back. You wouldn’t acknowledge I existed. It fucking hurt. Okay? Like a drunken ass, I lashed out, but everything I said was bullshit that spilled out in the heat of the moment,” I go on, explaining in a rush before she tries to take off.
Her eyes change, even though her rigid, hands-off posture remains in place.
“I came to your house last night to tell you I loved you,” she says, shocking the absolute fuck out of me. “Instead, I got to find out how little I meant to you. That’s life, I guess. But at least I know how little you feel for me now.”
I stumble to the side when she walks by me this time, and she stabs the elevator button with her finger. The doors open immediately, and she steps inside, pressing a button. My feet are lead, but I start to speak.
However, she beats me to the punch. “Pi
ck your jaw up off the floor. It’s not a good look for you. Have a nice life, Ethan. All the best.”
With that, the doors seal and my legs start working again, as though the binds holding them in place finally snap. I head for the stairs, taking them two at a time on the way down. A group of people explode through one door like an office party just broke up, and I get tangled up in them, shoving my way through until I can start running down the stairs again.
Just as I break through the exit door, I see her Acura turning at the red light. Fuck!
She shocked me, but I should have recovered quicker. And I really don’t like how final her tone sounded, as though she thinks we’re over.
She can’t fucking tell me she loves me then just walk away like that’s the end.
I spend the next four hours going all over Sterling Shore, but Bella has apparently decided to not be found. When I call Allie, she hangs up on me. When I call Wren, he tells me he’s trying to find her, but Allie won’t tell him anything.
When I call Rye, he offers to bring over some whiskey, but assures me Brin knows nothing about where to find Bella.
Rain, Dane, Raya, Kade, Kode, Tria… No one knows any-damn-thing. And I’m stuck chasing air by the end of the night.
But I know where she works, and she has to go back sometime.