“Sex.” Jen sounded alarmingly confident. “I think Rig and David are having sex and he’s freaking out about it.”
Rory flinched. Did she have him bugged or something? He would ask her how much David enjoyed getting his cock sucked, but Rory had been on the receiving end of Rig’s talented mouth more than once.
“It just happened, Rory. I didn’t plan it.”
How did a blowjob just happen? Had Rig tripped with his mouth open?
“Bullshit.” Trick waved off the answer. “Pretty boy’s dick docket is too full as it is to let something like that worry him.”
“My dick docket? A little harsh coming from a private Dick like you.”
A knowing wink was Trick’s only response to that dig. “Come on, man. We heard what you did to those stripping firemen at Owen’s bachelor party. Their manager called the next day to find out what the hell happened to her talent because they’d both quit and told her they needed to reevaluate their lives. You broke the strippers. A guy with that kind of track record doesn’t care where Jersey Shore puts his pickle.”
“First of all, stop with the pickle references. Secondly, those guys already had plans to stop stripping and start their own company.” Rory had just shown them the benefits of enjoying a full partnership. In bed. Hell, they’d even offered him stock options and thanked him for it. Multiple times.
Also in bed.
“Thirdly, Detective Smartass, it was David who got his pickle… You know what I’m trying to say.” The eggs were sitting like fiery rocks in his stomach, fueling his irritation. “It’s a bad idea, that’s all.”
Apocalyptically bad. Not that anyone had asked his opinion on the subject.
“Doesn’t that make you a bit of a hypocrite? With all the men you—”
Rory made a rude gesture with his hand, cutting him off. “For your information, I haven’t gotten off to anyone but myself in eight months.”
“He’s funny when he’s drunk,” Declan observed, his lips twitching.
“I’m not joking.”
He hadn’t gone this long without since he knew sex was a thing. Brutal honesty? He hadn’t enjoyed sex since a year ago January. Which was around the same time David said he needed to back off a little and think things through.
Space. The friendship killer.
“No wonder I’m so grumpy, I’m turning into Younger the Celibate,” he groaned dramatically. “Jen, quick have Tasha get me the number for the rest of those strippers before I give myself a buzz cut and start ordering everyone around me to act their age.”
She gaped at him as if he announced he had a brain tumor and two weeks to live, making Rory drop his act and snort again. “I was kidding about the strippers.”
He wasn’t, but it seemed like something she needed to hear.
“But you weren’t kidding about the eight months of going without?”
Declan shared a look with Trick. “Also, bad comparison. From what I hear, even Younger is enjoying himself more than you are since he decided to quit the force for good.”
He’d heard the same thing.
Rory lifted one shoulder apathetically. “The truth is I’ve been on a… I guess I’m calling it a cleanse. But I’m only abstaining from sex, not drinking maple syrup and cayenne pepper or anything. That’s just disgusting and genuinely unhealthy.”
“A cleanse.” Jen echoed in disbelief. “A sex cleanse? Tell me what’s going on, Rory. Now before I call an ambulance. Or my father.”
She was threatening him with Uncle Shawn, the only adult who was ever nice to him? Dirty pool, he mouthed silently.
Declan pinched his nose and pushed up his glasses. “Before we act on that threat, let’s clarify this. We don’t need all the details, Rory. A simple Dick and Jane encapsulation will do.”
Dick and Jane? “Fine.” He pretended to open a book for Story Time. “Gay Rory kisses Straight David. Straight David runs away. Confused David comes back a few months later with a new job that has nothing to do with his degree and no more girlfriends. Experimental David kisses Manwhore Rig and expresses an interest in exploring his newly emerging bisexuality. Slutty Rig blows him in gratitude, and breaks the news to Gay Rory due to their mutually agreed upon off-limits rule for previously Straight David. Gay Rory proceeds to get drunk and is sent to Little Finn in the Uber from Hell.” He slammed the book closed with a clap.
See Rory cry.
Trick nodded in approval. “Nicely done. And that about clears everything up for me. You’re jealous you weren’t included.”
Yes!
“No!” Rory swore under his breath. “I mean, sure, it would have made sense for me to have been informed that one of my best friends had decided after twenty-eight years that he might be bisexual. Particularly after the way he reacted when I ki—” He slashed his hand through the air, unwilling to go there again. “This is more important than my ego. Our friendship is more important than anything else. At least, it is to me. But they’re both willing to throw it away for a night or two of naked exploration.”