He glanced at the entertainment center that was Declan’s pride and joy and saw that yes, the screen was still paused on the right YouTube video.
Don’t forget to breathe.
“Shut up.”
“Rory? Is that you? What are you doing here?” David knelt down to pet Duck and Goose, the pinched skin between his eyebrows a bad sign for everyone. “I thought you had to work.”
“So did I.” Rig wandered in at a slower pace, his gaze taking Rory in from head to toe. Most of him was visible, since he was only wearing one dangerously small towel. “Essie said we needed to pick up the dogs. I’m assuming that was a great big lie?”
“It was.” Why was he nervous? “I thought we should have a talk.”
David stood, visibly swallowing as he took in Rory’s state of undress. “We couldn’t talk at home?”
“Which home?” Rory dove in, hoping for that opening. “Rig’s place that he’s been talking about selling for a month? Or yours that’s a little smallish for three men and a monster penis?”
Rig chuckled. “Well, we know it won’t be yours.”
“My old apartment? You’re right. We couldn’t get in anyway since I terminated my lease and had most of my furniture burned in a pagan ritual of cleansing.”
David bit down on his lip. Hard. “You moved out of your apartment?”
“It only took ten years, I know. Most good things do.”
Rig moved closer. “That’s a big step for you.”
“This is a bigger one.” He clicked play on the remote and watched as Essie’s face appeared on the giant screen. She waved as if she could see them.
“Hi guys. Shawn let me upload this to his channel for privacy reasons, so chill out Mills.”
Rory saw David’s lips twitch.
“I’m filming this today to give you—David Mills and Anthony Rigatelli—a taste of the good life.” She flung her arm out and stepped to the side, revealing a beautiful old house. “Let’s look inside, shall we?”
“She’s really hamming it up,” David murmured.
“Pay attention.” Please like this.
Essie kept the patter going as she walked them through the gourmet chef’s kitchen, the studio that could be used for making their YouTube videos, and the workout room with a patio that led to the pool.
“There are five bedrooms and three baths, perfect for family visits or office conversions. And on the other side of this very spacious backyard that some poor sucker has to mow? A cottage for Buffy-loving Nonna!” She looked into the camera. “Wow. This place has everything, doesn’t it? The good life tastes good.”
“What are we looking at, Rory?” Rig’s voice was strained with suppressed emotion.
“She’s getting to that.”
She started walking the path back to the main house. “You may be wondering, what the hell are you doing, Essie? Auditioning for HGTV? Sadly, that is not the case. This, to be perfectly honest, is a bribe from the man hopefully still standing beside you.”
They both gave him a frowning side-eye. He shrugged.
“Did you know he had a savings account? I didn’t. He always seemed broke to me. His rent was low—because he lived in a hidey-hole. He didn’t buy food—thanks to Macy and Nonna and Finn Again leftovers. And now, all that money he didn’t spend went into a down payment for this. The perfect house for all your needs, blocks away from yours truly… Seriously, I could walk here. Sure, it’s a bribe, but it’s a really pretty one with lots of amenities.”
Rory saw her heading toward the bedroom and held his breath. The timing had to be perfect.
Essie opened the door and smiled at what she saw before the camera panned over. “Here he is, boys. He did all this for you, so give him your attention.”
Rory saw himself on the large screen and blushed. He was too skinny, too pale and wearing the same towel he had on now. He lifted a large sign made out of poster board and held it in front of him, flinging his towel at Essie with a wicked grin.
David leaned closer to read the sign. “I love you both. I will forever. Live with me and… Please look at the other me now.”
The video froze and Rig and David turned toward him in surprise.
Rory was holding another sign and dangling the towel in his hand.
Rig started laughing and David’s smile was so bright it hurt to look at.
“And… Please can we have sex now?”
“Well?” Rory was already impatient and painfully aroused.
Rig and David didn’t waste any time. They started stripping. Fast. Rory swore heard something tear and a few buttons might have rolled under the couch.
“I can’t believe you did that,” David gasped, hopping out of his shoes.
Rig lowered his jeans, taking his boxers with them. “We couldn’t have built a better house, I’m still not sure how you found it.”
He’d had everyone working on it for weeks, the entire spy network. He wasn’t giving away credit right now though. Not if they were happy enough to give him what he wanted. He tossed his sign over the couch. “Are you saying yes? To the house, I mean.”