Stephen had been the captain of the debate team. Seamus, sadly, had not, so he didn’t bother going into it. “The point is, I know my strengths. I’m a good dad and some of my ideas here are taking off. I may not have the right balance yet, but I’m getting by.”
“Jesus, Seamus, is that—” Stephen cut himself off and gripped Seamus by his shoulders. “I used to worry about you, I’ll admit that. I worried you were too nice, too easygoing and you’d let people take advantage of you. People like Mira. I worried that because you cared so much about making other people happy, you weren’t doing what you loved as much as what was expected. And sometimes, if we’re being honest, I worried that your uncompromising focus on the kids would ensure you ended up alone.”
Eyes his exact shade of blue darkened with emotion. “Now every day when I look at my sons? I’m more in love than I thought possible, and terrified that I’m going to make a mistake or a wrong decision. I worry about their future and school and whether or not they’ll resent me for giving them a curfew. I honestly never understood what you went through until now, and I don’t care if you hate hearing the praise. What would Seamus do? is the new house mantra. I’ve even got Tasha saying it. I don’t see you as a martyr or a saint, Seamus. You’re my Goddamn hero.”
Seamus rubbed the back of his hot neck and took an embarrassed step back. “Okay, that’s enough now.”
Stephen smiled. “You never could take a compliment.”
“You always got to them first.”
“I love you, brother.”
“I love you back,” Seamus mumbled. “And about Bellamy—”
“I was being oversensitive, but that was about me, not him. I’d never judge you for who you wanted. It took years for me to finally fight for my relationship with Natasha. Hell, I might still be going home every night to an empty house I hated if it hadn’t been for that kinky party. And you,” he added softly. “You took care of me when she was gone. Never left me alone.”
Seamus grimaced. “This isn’t exactly the same thing. You and Tasha were in love. I don’t know what’s happening between Bellamy and I, but I don’t think these feelings are the forever kind. They’re too intense, and not always in a good way. It’s definitely not the type of relationship I ever thought I’d be in.”
I didn’t know I could want someone so badly I ached when they weren’t around.
“It makes perfect sense to me, Seamus. You’ve had your finger in that dam for years. That kind of pressure has a tendency to explode when it’s finally released.”
“Do me a favor and don’t share the finger analogy with Owen.” He hesitated. “Why do you think he’s pissed off about this? We weren’t this bad with him, were we?”
“No, and he knows it, the spoiled brat.” Stephen chuckled. “He’s not that pissed. I think he’s just upset he didn’t see it. That he was basically with you on vacation and he didn’t know you were going through something he’d gone through. Something he might have been able to help you with.” Stephen’s smile took on an evil tilt. “And he could be jealous that he’s no longer the most interesting brother.”
Seamus barked out a laugh. “I think his title is safe.”
“I don’t know, Seamus. You’re on your way to being a beer tycoon, and a sexy billionaire followed you home from Ireland… Owen’s just a married construction worker with a cute dog.”
“Well, he’ll always be the first,” Seamus said with a proud smile. It was true. Owen was out there being brave before the rest of them even knew they were hiding. “Let’s hope our parents have your reaction instead of his.”
“They will. And the kids will love anyone who loves you. The only problem I could see cropping up is that they’re not used to sharing you every day.”
“No, they’re not.”
But Bellamy had asked for the chance to spend time with them, and Seamus couldn’t find it in him to say no. He didn’t want to say no.
He wanted it to work. He just had to find a way to make the ending as painless for his kids as possible if it didn’t.
If a heart got broken, he wanted it to be his. Not theirs.
Chapter Twelve
“Daddy says this is your favorite movie.” Penny was holding the iPad her grandparents had given her for her birthday. They’d had it loaded with every princess movie they could find. Most she already had recorded on the DVR and owned on Blu-ray, but this was easy to use and portable, so she loved it.
It was currently playing Beauty and Beast. “Yes, different with a mess of us is Belle!” she sang, swinging the device around wildly as she danced.