“That’s his choice, but this isn’t his baby, Noah, it’s yours. So is the decision to keep it.” He remembered Solomon’s concern, and it was one he shared. “But before you make things official with her lawyer, be damn sure this is what you really want. Because there’s only one person that doesn’t have a say in anything right now, and they’ll be the most affected by whatever you decide.” He felt Little Sean lean against his thigh and cupped his small shoulder with his hand. “I’m not going to lie to you. Your work life will change. Your social life will change, and for a while it might disappear entirely. Every single decision you make, good or bad, is going to revolve around that one little child from now on. Being a father isn’t easy, and it isn’t something you get to change your mind about in a year or two or eighteen.”
He refused to sugar coat it. It wouldn’t be fair to his cousin or the baby on the way. But he didn’t tell him the worst part. That he could fall for someone who had no interest in his baby at all. That breaking things off would leave a hole inside that refused to heal.
Stop thinking about Bellamy, you selfish jackass.
Noah was watching Little Sean watching him. “What if I’m not good at it? What if I’m more like Elder than you?”
Hell, was that what he was worried about? Sometimes Seamus really wanted to knock Uncle Sol’s teeth in for what he’d done to his sons. “Between you, me and the wall? Elder would never have asked that question. Which means, if this is really what you want, you’re already light years ahead of him.”
“I want it.” There was something fierce and full of longing in his voice, something Seamus had never heard from the lighthearted Noah before. “I can’t explain it. If you’d told me a few months ago that this would happen? I’d have laughed. But when she showed me the sonogram? I just knew the baby was mine.”
“That’s a good start. The rest you can learn as you go.”
Noah rubbed his face roughly and groaned. “Do you know how strange it is for us to have so many single dads in one family? Tanaka threw some statistics at me the other night and it blew my mind. And don’t even get me started on our threesome trend.”
Seamus forced a heavy sigh, fighting his smile. “Yeah. Stephen really took the easy road, didn’t he? Imagine. Finding that one special girl and falling in love before she had a baby? Amateur.” He met Noah’s gaze and they both started to laugh.
He’d almost had that with Gill. But if her last email was anything to go by, she wasn’t missing out. She’d decided to take his advice about Connor. Beer and massages all around.
Not wanting to be left out of the conversation, Little Sean climbed right up into Noah’s lap and patted his cheeks. “Baby?” he asked, excited. “A boy?”
Noah tickled Sean until he squealed. “I don’t know yet. I guess we’ll find out soon.”
“I’m hoping for a girl,” Seamus said, patting his son’s back. “Penny needs some company and you, little man, are enough trouble without a partner in crime.”
The party was winding down when Seamus finally got to sit again. He was a little depressed he hadn’t gotten a chance to hold his nephews, but he may have mentioned Noah’s predicament to Stephen and asked if they could invite him over for some quality diaper-changing time. He’d seen Jen, Trick and Declan off, as well as Wyatt, Noah, and a strangely subdued Rory. James had sent presents, but Seamus could see that Solomon was upset he hadn’t shown up again. He was still trying to text his brother as he hugged the kids absently and waved goodbye.
He’d cornered Seamus earlier, asking about Bellamy again and reminding him what Ken could do. But Solomon didn’t know that Demir and Tanaka were friends. And Seamus didn’t know if they were close enough that they’d been in contact.
You could always ask Ken.
Penny crawled over to him and plopped her head on his shoulder with a dramatic sigh, offering a timely distraction. “Am I old enough now?”
He smiled at that. It didn’t matter what she was asking for, the answer was still the same. “Not for years, sweetheart. But you are older. Which means another quarter in your allowance.” She clapped happily. “As long as you keep your room clean at home and your nose clean at school.”
She thought about that for a second. “If a dog licks it, is my nose still clean?”
“Maybe?”
“Can we have a dog?”
Interesting segue. Seamus gave her the side eye. “Didn’t you get enough presents today, young lady?”
“We loved our presents, Daddy.” Penny motioned to Wes, who joined her on the other side of their father. They were basically penning him in.