I was fitted for glasses, given a prescription for contacts, and even made an appointment for a checkup next year while keeping up an ongoing dialogue with Cody about the supernatural.
“Werewolves and zombies are just silly. Logically I know vampires are too, but they have a romantic aspect that’s appealing somehow,” he said as he pulled out of the parking space.
“Because they suck you off,” I deadpanned. “Who wouldn’t love that?”
“You have sex on the brain.”
“Yep. And by the way, zombies are lame, but werewolves are not silly.”
“They are too,” he argued. “I’m all for big, hairy beasts, but they have no purpose.”
“Neither do vampires,” I huffed.
“True. Can I change the subject?”
“Sure.”
Cody navigated around a slow-moving minivan as he turned onto Santa Monica Boulevard. “Your appointment went well, and you seemed…fine. Are you fine?”
“Are you asking after my mental well-being?”
“Yes, I suppose I am.”
“I’m good.” I went quiet for a moment, then added, “Thanks for going with me. I know it’s stupid, and I know a visit to an eye doctor isn’t high-stakes fear-inducing. It’s something I can’t really explain.”
“Try.”
I quirked my head toward him, noting his firm grip on the steering wheel and his steely expression. My boy was a bit of a boss.
“Okay. I think a decent psychologist would diagnose me with a debilitating fear of failure. I might not look the part anymore or even act like it, but I’m an overachieving perfectionist. Doing the work to reach any goal, studying, practicing…that’s easy. I could do it for hours. Losing love for something I’d spent years devoting myself to was the rough part. It was like losing a close friend or a family member. But I was never going to be the best in that field. I felt it in my bones. And being the best matters to me. Maybe that’s childish, but it’s true. I’ve never told anyone this, but…in my head”—I tapped my temple meaningfully—“I’ll be free of past failure once I master my next goal.”
Cody turned onto my street and parallel parked his Mini behind a Range Rover, then killed the engine before glancing my way. “So your plan is to avoid medical advice and checkups until you become the best guitarist in the world?”
I frowned. “Well, it sounds bad when you put it like that, but—”
“That’s exactly what you said. I know how it feels to put pressure on yourself to succeed, but you can’t mess with your health or—”
“I agree. I’m an idiot, but success comes easier to guys like you.”
“Guys like me?” He raised a brow above his Ray-Bans. “You mean…geeks? Nerds?”
I sighed heavily. “No, geez, Cody. I’m a bigger nerd than you’ll ever be.”
“I know you are,” he said calmly as he opened his door. “Are you inviting me in or not?”
My mind was buzzing, but I kept quiet. I grabbed my guitar from his trunk, led the way up the path, and unlocked my door, politely extending my arm to usher him inside. I intended to let it go, ask if he had a preference for dinner, and get on with the booty-call portion of the afternoon. That was what we agreed to, right?
Instead, I propped my guitar against the sectional in the great room and whirled to face him with my hands on my hips.
“What did you mean by that nerd crack?”
“Well…by definition, a nerd is someone who is overly intellectual, obsessive by nature, and may or may not lack social skills. You’re two out of three,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Although your social skills may not be as advanced as I’d originally assumed. I’ve been observing, you know.”
“Ah, yes. I’m your research experiment,” I huffed.
“Don’t be angry. Think logically. You excel socially where you have heightened interests with your companions.”
“Everyone does.”
“True, but you don’t do crossover well.” Cody waited a beat, settling on the opposite end of the sofa before continuing. “If I may be so bold…that’s why you’re out of sorts with Johnny. You tried to mix music with sex, and when it didn’t go as you hoped, you panicked. Now it’s awkward between you, which indicates that your original apology was either not handled well or wasn’t issued in a timely manner.”
“Damn. I really suck.”
“No, you don’t. You’re…amazing actually. You’re flawed like everyone else, but you actively work to correct your shortcomings. Ultimately, I think you’ll succeed because you care.”
I furrowed my brow. “I feel like I’m under a microscope.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. You’re just…scary perceptive.” I crooked my finger, beckoning him close. “So, I’m a bigger nerd, eh?”
Cody grinned as he scooted to my side. He removed his shoes, then draped his legs over my lap and leaned against me like a cat.
“I might have exaggerated. However, I don’t mind the label. Maybe it suits me. The important thing to remember is that it’s only a label, and labels are only useful for distinguishing condiments.”