***
“Shane...” Justin’s grip was weak in Shane’s hand, his fingers cold. His skin was drained of color. It made his copper hair look brighter than ever.
Shane held his hand tight. “Hold on, Red. You’re going to be all right.”
“I can’t... breathe.” Justin’s voice was not only choked but frightened. He parachuted into combat with a grin and a joke. Nothing scared him.
Hands gripped Shane’s shoulders, trying to pull him away from Justin. Shane hung on. If he let go, Justin would die.
Then he wasn’t holding Justin any more, but Catalina. Her brown skin had gone ashen. She too looked frightened.
“Shane...” she whispered. “I can’t...”
“Shane?”
He sat bolt upright, gasping, his heart pounding. Instinctively, he snatched for a weapon, but his fingers closed on empty air.
The fire had burned low, but cast a flickering light. Catalina was sitting up, beside him but not touching him. It was still dark outside.
His hair was damp with sweat, his throat raw, his muscles painfully tense. He didn’t trust himself to speak.
Catalina’s fine, he told himself. She hasn’t done the process. It’s not too late. You saved her.
But he hadn’t saved Justin. And they weren’t yet out of the woods. And she still didn’t know who she was traveling with.
“What were you dreaming about?” Catalina asked.
Tell her, hissed his panther, startling him.
“I don’t remember,” Shane said, much too late to be convincing.
“Bullshit,” she said crisply. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I...” Shane fished for something to say that wouldn’t be a lie. “If I tell you now, it might put you in danger.”
“I call bullshit on that, too.”
He was too taken aback to argue. No one flat-out contradicted him like that, unless you counted his panther.
His panther gave a huff of approval. He agreed with Catalina.
You would, thought Shane. You don’t think we did anything to be ashamed of.
Catalina went on, “I don’t mind your little white lies about the shower. I knew you weren’t telling me everything, but you had a reason for that and I agreed to it. But I don’t agree to being lied to now. If it’s too painful to talk about, just say so.”
He sat in silence, his arms wrapped around his chest. Despite the fire, he felt chilled. But Catalina was right. What sort of mate could he be to her if he couldn’t tell her the truth?
“It is too painful to talk about,” he said at last. “But I will anyway. I dream
ed of my best friend dying. He said he couldn’t breathe, and then he passed out and died. That really happened. And then I dreamed that it was you. It was you, dying in my arms.”
“I’m so sorry, Shane.” Catalina reached out to put her arm around his shoulders.
The chill went right down to his bones as he raised his hand, warding her off. “Don’t touch me.”
“Are you sure? You’re shivering.”
“I have to tell you something first. You should know before you touch me again. I wasn’t just imprisoned by Apex. I worked for them. I was an assassin.”