He pulled back and smiled at her, cupping her face in his hands as he brushed her lips with his fingers. "I'll find you. Don't worry." He gave her a hug good-bye, just as his beeper went off. "I’ll see you at seven," he said, holding her hand tightly before they parted in the hallway.
Kim glanced at her watch. It was almost eight o'clock. Tony had called earlier to let her know that he was delayed, but she was starving.
Get used to it, she told herself. If she was embarking on a relationship with a heart surgeon of Tony's stature, she'd have to get used to eating meals by herself.
She walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboards. Her eyes lit up as she spotted the jar of Ragu. She hoped Tony liked Italian.
Kim hesitated as she remembered all the meals she and her mother had eaten by themselves, in that very kitchen. She knew that her mother had not lived the life she had intended. Her mother had come from a large, warm, loving family, where everyone had sat down to dinner together. She had never adjusted to having a husband who left early in the morning and did not return until late at night.
Kim poured the Ragu into a pan. She reminded herself that she was not her mother, nor was she in the same situation. She was not marrying Tony—she was simply enjoying his company. He was a fun, talented man, and doctor or not, she liked him. End of subject.
She busied herself with dinner, and by the time the doorbell rang, dinner was ready and a fire was blazing in the fireplace.
Kim opened the door, anxious to see Tony.
He stood on the porch, his fit athletic form outlined in the moonlight. He was wearing a turtleneck, jeans, and an L. L. Bean jacket and was holding a bouquet of flowers in front of him.
"Hi," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "These are for you," he added and handed her the flowers.
"Thank you," Kim said, admiring the bouquet. First his coat, then the flowers. She'd better watch out for this one.
She glanced up at him. Her enthusiasm faded as she looked into his eyes. His beautiful eyes were a bloodshot red, and deep, dark circles were etched beneath. He looked as if he was ready to fall over from exhaustion.
"Sorry I'm late," he said.
"What's the matter?" she asked, ushering him inside.
"Bad day," he said.
"How bad?" she asked, taking his coat.
"I was on my way out the door when one of my patients simply stopped breathing."
"Is the patient okay?"
He nodded. "Now he is. But it was touch and go for a while. The guy is young, too. Only forty—with a wife and a baby." He sighed. "It just tears you apart."
Kim nodded in sympathy as she thought of the pain the family must have experienced. She turned her attention back toward Tony, trying to comprehend the terrible duress of his day. In the dim light of the hall he looked older than his years, weighted down by the heavy burden of sadness and responsibility. She wondered how many times her father had come home suffering from the same burden.
Standing in the hall of her parents' home, holding Tony's coat in one hand, the flowers in the other, Kim couldn't help but compare herself to the ghosts that had stood in this very hall twenty years before.
Tony glanced at Kim and flashed her a tired half smile. "I'm sorry. I'll snap out of it. I know I have to work on leaving it all at the office, but it's difficult. I haven't developed that tough outer shell that, according to your father, is a necessity in this business. He feels that if a physician becomes too personally involved with his patients, it not only affects his professionalism, but can lead to early burnout as well."
"But I thought you said that he did get involved… with the little girl that needed a transplant…"
Tony nodded. "He did. I guess even the masters have their weak moments." He shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. "In any case…" he said, then hesitated as though he was seeing her for the first time. "You look beautiful." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her to him, and kissed her. "Mmm," he whispered, smiling. "I feel better already." Still holding her close, he paused, looking into the living room.
Kim almost laughed at the expression on Tony's face as he caught a glimpse of the decor. "Kind of makes you want to head out to a disco, doesn't it?" Kim asked.
He glanced around at the heavy wood paneling and the rust brown shag carpeting. "Now that you mention it."
"My father hasn't changed anything since my mother and I left," she said, breaking away from Tony's embrace. She carefully set the flowers on the entrance table before hanging his coat in the closet.
"What's that," he asked, pointing to the thick wool rug in front of the fireplace.
"The rug?"
"It's a rug? I thought it was some kind of animal," he joked.