“Please, don’t call me that,” Jillian said, looking away. “Please, I’m not…I can’t be your Mistress. You’re free now, Kalis—try to enjoy your freedom, okay?”
“What if I don’t want to be free?” he asked and she felt his eyes on her.
“Kalis—”
He raised a hand to stop her.
“No, never mind, I understand that you’re frightened of me right now—frightened of my beast.”
“I never said that!” Jillian denied quickly.
“You didn’t have to,” he rumbled, and she thought she heard bitterness in his deep voice. “I saw the look in your eyes when I changed to my other form. I just want you to know it was never my intention to frighten you.”
“Okay,” Jillian agreed quickly.
Though honestly, how did he expect to not frighten someone when he turned into a 13-foot-tall Grizzly? The beast inside him was mind-numbingly terrifying and every instinct inside her told her she needed to run away from it as fast as possible. And since it resided inside the big Kindred, it therefore followed that she needed to get away from him.
“Beginning landing procedure,” Kalis said neutrally. Though the shuttle was programmed to fly itself, he had apparently taken over. Which seemed fine—he seemed to know what he was doing.
Which makes one of us, anyway, Jillian thought miserably. She felt like an ass—the big Kindred had rescued her, protected her—Hell, he’d even let his hand be chopped off for her—and she was basically cutting him loose and telling him she couldn’t have any kind of relationship with him.
But what else can I do? she thought, casting him a sidelong glance. He turns into a freaking monster! I’d be insane to want anything to do with him, wouldn’t I?
The obvious answer was “yes,” but it didn’t explain why she couldn’t meet Kalis’s eyes as he landed the little silver shuttle neatly in the Docking Bay. Or the wretched feeling of guilt she had as she said a stiff goodbye to him and left him with Commander Sylvan, as she went with the female doctor who had come to examine her.
24
“It’s good to meet you in person, Brother,” Commander Sylvan said, offering his arm for a warrior’s clasp.
“Good to meet you as well.” Kalis nodded and took the other male’s arm, but his eyes were following Jillian as she and the female doctor walked away.
Sylvan’s gaze followed his own and he frowned.
“Is there a problem? Are you worried about Ms. Marks?”
“About Jillian?” Kalis shrugged. “No problem on my end. But she’s been through a lot today and…” he hesitated, hating to admit it. “Er…”
“And what?” Commander Sylvan prompted gently.
“And she saw me in my other form,” Kalis said heavily.
He hated to admit it, but as many times as the little female denied it, he knew she feared his Ursus—he could smell the terror on her when she talked about it.
“I didn’t want to change in front of her,” he told Sylvan. “But I had to fight for her—a fucking Trollox had claimed her and another was holding her for the first. I had no choice.”
“It sounds like you couldn’t help it,” Sylvan said sympathetically. “But am I right in guessing that she fears you now?”
Kalis sighed morosely.
“Just like my last Mistress,” he admitted. “She saw me change and then she couldn’t wait to get rid of me.” He shook his head. “Only I hadn’t been dreaming of my last Mistress for two years. When I saw Jillian today—finally saw her in person—well…” He shook his head. “I knew I’d do anything for her—anything to protect her—but now she fears me and doesn’t want to be anywhere near me.”
“Do you know if she’s been dreaming of you, too?” Sylvan asked. “Or was it a one-way Dream Sharing? Such a thing is rare, but not unheard of.”
Kalis shook his head.
“Don’t know. I told her I had dreamed of her, but she never said anything about dreaming of me, so one-way is possible, I guess.”
“Or she might not be the type to remember her dreams,” Sylvan said thoughtfully. “My advice would be to just give her a little time and space. You said that she’s been through a lot today—she’ll need to process everything before she can really understand how she feels.”
Kalis shook his head.
“She already knows how she feels—she doesn’t want me anywhere near her ever again.”
“Give her time,” Sylvan counseled again. “You know, before we were Joined, I foreswore my own mate, Sophia, at one point, because she feared me so much. Well, I should more accurately say she feared my fangs,” he added, smiling to reveal the sharp, double set of fangs all Blood Kindred had on either side of his mouth.
“Feared your fangs?” Kalis looked at the other male in surprise. “If she feared to be bitten, how did you ever bond her to you?” He knew that biting was an intricate and essential part of bonding sex for Blood Kindred.