The video clip stopped then, frozen on Luc’s fierce expression.
Nessa looked warily at Iseult, who arched a brow. ‘That does not look like a man who is driven by ambition to marry a woman he sees only as a business opportunity, now, does it?’
* * *
‘He’s in the gym on the first floor, love. He’s in there for hours in the morning and every evening. It’s like he’s trying to exorcise the devil himself.’
Nessa smiled her thanks at Mrs Owens. Her heart was palpitating—she’d come here straight from Dublin airport. Iseult had insisted she come home, all but bundling her onto the plane herself saying fiercely, ‘You’ll always regret it if you don’t find out for sure, Ness.’
Nessa had known herself that even if Luc did feel something for her, he wouldn’t come after her. He’d been too hurt by his past. He’d never had anyone to depend on. Not really. And anyone he’d felt anything for had died.
It had only dawned on Nessa then that they actuall
y had more in common than she’d ever appreciated. Fear of loss. Grief.
The difference was that she’d had a family around her and he’d had no one.
She stopped outside the door to the gym. It was too late to worry about how she looked in worn jeans and a long-sleeved top. No make-up. Hair up in a loose topknot. Impulsively at the last second, she undid it and her hair fell down around her shoulders.
All she could hear from behind the door was a low and muffled-sounding rhythmic thump thump.
She took a deep breath and opened the door into the vast room. All Nessa saw at first were a hundred complicated-looking machines. But Luc wasn’t on any of those.
He was at the other end of the room punching a heavy bag, dressed in sweats and bare-chested. He was dripping with perspiration, a fierce frown on his face, hair damp. The scar on his back was a jagged line and Nessa’s heart squeezed.
He gave the bag a thump so hard that Nessa felt the reverberations go through her own body. And then he stopped suddenly. She realised that he’d seen her in the mirror.
He turned around, chest heaving and gleaming. Nessa was breathless. She’d never seen him looking so raw. Unconstructed. Suddenly the thought of never being with this man again left her breathless with pain. She couldn’t do it. Even if he didn’t really love her.
He stood with an arrested expression on his face and she walked towards him slowly. As she came closer the expression was replaced with a smooth mask. He pulled off his gloves and picked up a towel, running it roughly over his face and the back of his neck. He pulled on a T-shirt.
‘I thought you were in Merkazad.’
Nessa stopped a few feet away. ‘I was. I came back.’ Brilliant, Nessa. As if that weren’t patently obvious.
He shook his head. ‘Why did you go there? You’d just lost our baby, but you jumped to your sister’s bidding with no thought of the pain it might cause you?’
Our baby. Not it. Nessa’s heart clenched. ‘It wasn’t like that. Iseult didn’t know about the baby, and I thought it would be a good idea to help out.’
‘You were afraid I’d propose again.’ Luc sounded grim.
Nessa nodded slowly. ‘Part of me was afraid you’d insist...’ And that she wouldn’t be able to say no.
‘Was my proposal so unwelcome?’ There was a bleak tone to his voice now.
Nessa nodded, watching his expression carefully. Something flashed in his eyes and she recognised pain. As much as she hated to see it, it also sent hope to her heart.
She moved closer and saw a wary look cross his face now.
‘But not because of why you think. I couldn’t bear the fact that it was such a clinical proposal. To merge two names. To bolster your reputation and success. And just because you’d had a revelation about wanting a family.’
He shook his head and when he spoke his voice was rough. ‘It wasn’t just that.’
He looked at her, and the pain in the depths of his eyes was unmistakable now. ‘I’m sorry for everything. You just tried to help your brother and I treated you as if you’d stolen from me yourself. Then I seduced you, when I had no right to take your innocence, an innocence that I didn’t believe in until it was too late. I had no right to disrupt your life like that.’
He went pale. ‘When I saw you lying under those horses, I thought I’d killed you...and then the baby. It’s my fault you lost the baby, Nessa. If I hadn’t asked you to ride in the race it wouldn’t have happened. You were innocent of every charge I levelled at you.’
Suddenly Nessa felt cold. She put a hand to her mouth, horror coursing through her. ‘You feel responsible? That’s why you were so upset when you saw the accident. I thought...’