I shrugged. “That sounds good to me. I like to try new things, and trying them with you is even better.”
“And we probably shouldn’t make long-term plans. I think keeping things to the immediate future—say, the next few weeks—keeps things lighter.”
“Alright. Anything else?”
She bit down on her lip. “Just one more, I think. But I have a feeling you might not like it.”
“Lay it on me.”
“Well, sex… I didn’t have it for a few years after…you know…and then I only had it without an emotional connection. So, it’s honestly been a long time since I combined the two, and just contemplating that really scares me.”
My face fell, though it had nothing to do with not having sex.
Autumn noticed. “I didn’t… No, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean to say I didn’t have an emotional connection with you the weekend we spent together, if that’s what you’re thinking. Just the opposite, actually. I felt things for you, and that’s why I didn’t want to have actual sex that weekend. I thought that would keep things on some sort of a friendlier level. But even without the sex, what I felt made me run as fast as I could. Which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid happening now by going slow.”
I dragged a hand through my hair, blew out a deep breath, and nodded. “Yeah, of course. Whatever it takes.”
“Thank you. I know I’m asking a lot.”
I ran my fingers down her cheek. “It’s fair. I’m getting a lot in return. You.”
She nuzzled her cheek against my hand. “I think that’s it for my rules. What about you? Anything you want to add?”
“You didn’t mention exclusivity. I don’t think I can take knowing you’re going out with other men at this point.”
She shook her head. “I won’t. Even when I was avoiding relationships that might lead to anything, I didn’t go out with more than one person at a time. It’s just not my thing.”
“Good. Then we’re on the same page.”
“So that’s it?” she asked.
The lawyer in me couldn’t help but think of things in terms of a contract, and one thing I always liked to negotiate for my clients was an out clause. “I’m going to stick to these rules as best I can,” I said. “Because they’re important to you. But the ball’s in your court, Red. If you get to a point where you’re ready to spend more time together, or want to make plans for the future, you just need to let me know.”
She smiled. “Does the same go for if I want to have sex? I just have to let you know?”
A wicked grin spread across my face. “No, sweetheart. For that, you have to do more than let me know. After all this time, I’m going to make you beg.”
CHAPTER 25
* * *
Autumn
“Where is he taking you?” Skye laid on her stomach on my bed with her feet swinging in the air like a teenager.
“He won’t tell me. That’s the problem.” I tossed another outfit next to her and walked back into my closet.
“Did you ask him what to wear?”
“He said wear something sexy.” I have no idea what that means. “Like, do I wear heels or not?”
Skye grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”
I popped my head out of the closet. “Like what?”
“A nervous wreck. You really like this guy, huh?”
I sighed. “I do.”
“Do you mind if I stay until he gets here? I’m curious to meet him.”
I shook my head. “Of course not. But he should be here in about twenty minutes, so help me find something so I’m not naked when he arrives.”
Skye got up and joined me in the tiny closet. “Being naked when he arrives might solve your outfit problem. I’m sure he’d love that.”
“We’re going to try to take it slow.”
“Boring.” Skye fingered through the hangers in my closet and pulled out a royal blue dress tucked all the way in the back. “You should wear this.”
I held it up against me. “You think? It’s kind of sexy.”
“I thought he said to wear something sexy.”
“He did. But I don’t want to send the wrong message.”
“What do you want the outfit to say?”
“I don’t know. That things are casual and I put in effort, but I didn’t freak out trying on fifty outfits just for the date.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about this dress saying all that.”
“No?”
“Not at all. Because your face is going to say just the opposite anyway.”
“Ugh…that’s not helpful.”
She shrugged. “Maybe not. But it’s the truth. So you might as well look smoking hot since you’re never going to be able to hide the truth.”
I spent fifteen more minutes trying on a half-dozen outfits, but in the end, I wound up wearing the blue dress. When the door buzzed, I opened the app I had on my phone to view who was downstairs and started to feel queasy. “Maybe I should cancel. I don’t feel well.”