He inhaled deeply. “I suppose that’s a matter of opinion. The fact is, if I’d been sighted—if I could have just been able to give a description of make and model and license number—those assholes would have potentially been off the streets in a matter of hours. As it was, Adele felt really vulnerable, knowing they were out there somewhere, wondering if they’d come back. I kept reassuring her, and we took a lot of precautionary measures, but the seed of doubt had been planted.”
“Two foul criminals made your wife doubt you,” she mumbled incredulously.
“She didn’t feel that I could protect her, Jennifer. Not with my disability.”
He heard her slight gasp, as if she’d opened her mouth to argue, but she stopped herself.
“Did they ever catch them?” she asked after a moment.
“Yeah. Three months after the break-in, one of the guys was brought in on a drug possession charge. His prints matched those from our condo. He informed on his partner for a lighter sentence.”
“And that didn’t reassure Adele any?”
“I think it was too late, then. It might have been too late the minute those guys chose our house to burglarize.”
“Adele was being completely unfair. You did keep her safe. But even if you hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been anyone’s fault but those two criminals’.”
“She felt differently about it. She has a right to her opinion.”
“But you believe Adele was right to judge you like she did,” Jennifer said slowly. “I can tell by the tone of your voice.”
He gave an impatient sigh. “What if I do, a little? It’s hard for a man, to have his home breached in that way, to have his wife threatened and assaulted. Every man on the planet would wish he could have done more. Almost every other man, woman and child on the planet would have been able to see that car.”
“A good portion of them wouldn’t have stopped those assholes from doing their worst to a loved one, like you did.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Like I said, Adele’s insecurities about me would have come out sooner or later. The robbery just brought it all to a head. She thought she understood what she’d been getting into marrying a blind man, but she discovered she was wrong.”
“Hopefully you discovered she was a spineless, faithless weakling.”
“Everyone has their weak points,” he said. “That doesn’t mean Adele was a weakling. It just means we weren’t meant for each other, that’s all.”
She gave a small grunt and put her head back on his chest. He couldn’t help but be warmed at how outraged she seemed. He’d told only two close friends about the circumstances leading up to his divorce, and they’d been nothing but incredulous and resentful over Adele’s reaction. But underneath their seeming support, he’d wondered if there hadn’t been a vague embarrassment, as if his friends too had felt a trace of shame for him that he’d been helpless to do something a seven-year-old child could have done.
Jennifer’s reaction of sheer disgust was one he hadn’t experienced so far. Strangely, it soothed him. How much had his own shame been a factor in how he’d perceived his friends’ reactions? How much had it played a part in his feelings of inadequacy when it came to Adele?
“I’ll gather from all of this that being able to protect your woman was of prime importance not just to Adele, but to you,” she mumbled into his chest a moment later.
“Yeah. I think that’s a fair statement,” he said, stroking her hair.
“Well just for the record, I think that protection should go both ways between a couple. But aside from that, if there was one person in the world I’d choose to be at my back in a dangerous situation, I’d pick you.”
Warmth flooded him at he
r simple honesty. He downplayed his response out of old habit. “You didn’t have much of a choice in this situation. You’re stuck with me.”
She rubbed her cheek against his chest. “As far as I can tell, I was blessed with you.”
He lay awake with nothing but his rioting thoughts for company when Jennifer’s breath became even and peaceful.
* * *
He awoke to the sound of Enzo’s barking.
“John? John Corcoran? You down that hole?” a distant voice called a minute later.
“Lila? Is that you?” he bellowed.
“John?” Jennifer mumbled.