I don’t know what the fuck to say. I’m jealous as hell that he has everything I want. A wife, a baby on the way. Love. I fucking want that. Marina’s soft laughter plays through my mind, and for the first time, I think I might have it within my reach.
Chapter Five
Marina
“Mother!” I gasp, utterly horrified at the words she’s speaking to me. Her daughter, her only child. She can’t say this stuff. Can she?
“Marina Parks, you need to get your freak on. A man to fullfil your desires. It’s fun. You’ll see, sweetheart.” I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone when it rang.
After my evening with Arsen, I woke up this morning still thinking about him. The way he held me close. Kissed me like he couldn’t breathe. When I answered the phone amidst my packing, I was breathless and caught off guard, so when Mom asked if I had met anyone, I caved like a kid in a freaking candy store.
“Mom…” I can’t help the whine in my voice.
“We want you happy again, Marina.” The sadness in her response breaks my heart.
“I can’t lead someone on like that.” It’s my biggest fear. Falling in love only to be rejected. Who could be expected to survive that? Not me.
“Sweetheart, when you meet the right man, he’ll accept you. All of you.”
“He won’t be expecting the world’s largest flaw, though.”
“Marina!” she admonishes me, pure anger lacing the single word. “You are not flawed. You are perfectly you.” Her nice way of saying, that yes, I am, in fact, damaged. “I don’t want to hear that talk again, young lady.”
“Sure, Mom.” It’s easier to just agree with her.
“Now tell me more about him. What’s his name? Is he tall? Handsome? What color are his eyes?”
“Geez, you already sound like a fan.” She laughs and waits. Sighing, I give in. “His name is Arsen Daniels, and he’s a detective. He’s very tall, dark, and mysterious.” I don’t even need to close my eyes to picture him right in front of me as I carry the garbage out, phone tucked between my neck and shoulder in that awkwardly kinky way. “He has these tattoos that run just under the collar of his shirt and peak out at his hands.”
“Oh my.” I can picture my mother fanning her face with one hand. She loves tattoos. Dad has none. Go figure. “Do you know what they are?”
“No. I’d like to find out, though.” My words are muffled as I toss the garbage in the bin.
Hands surround my waist making me freeze. “I’d love to show you,” is growled in my ear, and I tremble.
“Shit,” I whisper, mortified. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even think the reason I could picture him is that he is standing right there. I’m such an idiot.
“Marina? What’s wrong?” Mom’s panic is palpable.
“Nothing, Mom. I gotta go.” Hanging up, I stuff the phone in my back pocket. Mistake. Big mistake. The bulge I knock into definitely isn’t a belt. Or phone. Or anything but his erection. “Oh, don’t be real, don’t be real, please, don’t be real.” Closing my eyes, I turn around, and I can feel his body shaking with laughter as I open them. “You’re real.”
“All six feet three of me.”
Dropping my head forward, it lands on his chest. His very hard, solid, full of muscle chest. “So hard,” I mutter quietly.
“Indeed, I am,” is his seductive response.
I’m going to die of embarrassment before this day is over. I just know it. I can’t survive this. The heat in my cheeks alone should be scorching me straight down to hell.
“We gonna stand here all day, or…” His sentence hangs in the air, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with it, so I walk away. Back into my apartment.
The tiny, tiny home that has clothing strewn everywhere and personal things he shouldn’t be seeing, and oh my God, is that my bra hanging off the couch? Shit.
“I’d like to see you in that.” Arsen’s right behind me, reaching for the pure white lace. Rubbing the fabric between his fingers. From experience, I know it’s smooth as silk.
Instead of taking it away from him, I, the idiot I was born to be, say, “There are matching panties, too.”
His warm breath on the back of my neck sends shivers up my spine as his hands press into my exposed stomach. Why oh why did I wear this damn halter top today?