Noticing I reached the last page, John said, “And now that we’ve met again. I want you to wear this ring and let it signify my love for you, a love that never died.”
“Oh, John,” I said as he got down on bended knee. “What are you saying? What kind of ring is this, John?”
“Clara Denise Baker, this ring is a token of my love for you. Will you be my wife?”
I placed the papers and the envelope down on the coffee table. I held the ring in between my fingers, flipping it over from side to side. I thought of a young John purchasing the ring for me, only to tie it to a piece of ribbon and place it in an envelope for decades. I thought about all the tears I shed and the heartache I endured after he left me.
Then, I thought of how I pushed him away and dared him to come back and check on me. I thought about how his heart poured out in every letter. I thought about how much joy he’d brought into my life since we reconnected. The smiles we shared. The deep, burning passion. I thought about it all. Most of all I thought about one very good reason why I couldn’t be his wife.
I opened my hand and held the ring out for him. “John, you already have a wife.”
“I never had a helpmate or a wife. And as my divorce goes through finalization, I want you to know I’m not playing any games this time around. I’m giving you this ring right now because it feels right.”
“John, this all sounds too good to be true, but…”
“No if, ands, or buts. I have people working overtime to get my divorce agreement ready to sign. As soon as you can legally become my wife, I want you to be my wife. But please know that in here,” he said placing his hand over his heart. “You are already my wife.”
I looked into his eyes and said, “Let’s just give it some more time, John.”
“Clara, this is our second chance.”
“And I want to take it. I really do. I just think it’s premature to step into one relationship when the first one is incomplete.”
John stood up and began to pace. “If us being together is premature, what exactly have we been doing here, Clara? What’s the point in all of the dates, sweet potato pie eating, and reminiscing? We need to accept what we have here because father time is ticking, and neither one of us is getting younger.”
I walked toward the kitchen and stood in the doorway. I watched John pace the floor and talk about our reconnection. He had a point. We had picked up like we never stopped. He had begun to flow through my blood like a river and he was divorcing Tammy. What was I running away from?
John walked over and stood in front of me and I could feel he electricity shoot from his body to mine. And then it hit me, I was running away from this feeling of happiness. For so long, I told myself I would never find true love or happiness. Now that love itself was floating in the air, I wasn’t prepared to accept it.
“You are a strong woman. You’ve been strong for so long and for so many people, Clara,” John digressed. “I think it’s time you let me be strong for you. Let your guard down and open up to a chance to love again. Let me flow through you smooth like Coltrane, and I promise to give you all of your favorite things.”
John’s huge smile caused me to giggle. “You want to be like Coltrane huh? Give a girl all of her favorite things?” I flirted along with him.
“If you will take my hand Clara, there’s no limit to where we’ll go,” he said leaning in closer to me. Once again, his hands slipped low around my waist and pulled me to him. This time, he cupped my hips and pressed me hard against his hardening body.
My arms flew around his neck and I kissed him without restraint. Any other time, I would’ve pushed him away, but I was tired of fighting back the undeniable feeling of
passion I had any time I was near him. I let go and lived in the moment. I may not have been ready to commit to marriage, but mercy. His body next to my body was an act of nature that was hard to deny.
“I want you so bad right now,” he whispered against my ear.
“John,” I gasped through a moan.
“You don’t understand the amount of restraint I’m using so I won’t rip your clothes off where you stand, Clara.”
His hot breath tickling my ear was a pure aphrodisiac. I took his hand into mine and guided it to the top button of my shirt. He peered into my eyes for confirmation and I nodded. I was tired of running from my feelings.
“Don’t hurt me again,” I said as I grabbed his eager hand that had already started unbuttoning my blouse.
“Never ever again,” he said until he unbuttoned the last button. He had officially caught me in his web and once again.
*
I awakened to the sound of John snoring in the bed beside me at six a.m. He had one arm around my back, so I had to remove it before I was able to turn over on my back. Once I turned over, I stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath remembering the wonderful night we shared.
“John,” I said, nudging him so he could wake up and go home. He didn’t budge.
I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes as my house phone began ringing. I picked it up on the third ring. It was Destiny.