Ryan...always Ryan stopping her from taking that final step away from Brett. He was indisputably a loving father, proud of his son. Ryan had adored his Daddy. She simply hadn’t been able to bring herself to deprive them of the relationship that was naturally theirs. In the end, it would have saved Ryan’s life—both their lives—if she had. She shook off the torment of ‘if only’s.
‘Brett felt inadequate,’ Damien declared. ‘He...’
‘Don’t be absurd,’ Natalie answered coldly.
Brett was the most gifted, talented individual she had met in her life. A bright golden god among other men. Brett made other people feel inadequate. People like Damien. People like herself.
Damien touched her arm to try to draw her attention back to him. ‘If you knew about his infidelities, why didn’t you divorce him? What stopped you?’ he asked, exasperation creeping into his voice.
They had reached the foyer. It didn’t really matter what she said to Damien. Whether he comprehended it or not was irrelevant. She was not going to see him again. She glanced at him with determined finality and gave him the one reason that had kept her with Brett.
‘He was the father of my child.’
She didn’t pause to gauge his reaction to that bare statement. She had no intention of explaining or embellishing it. She took a direct line towards the doors that led out of the hotel. This meeting with Damien had been a disaster from start to finish. She was ashamed of having been deluded into thinking he actually cared about her as a person.
Of course, she had realised that to Damien she was an extension of Brett, but there had been thoughtful gestures from him which she had believed were for her sake alone. She had thought he cared about her interests, suggesting ways of developing and extending her creative talent. She had no idea he was so...well, almost deranged...in his obsession about Brett.
Tears blurred her eyes. She had looked forward to telling Damien about the commission to illustrate a children’s book. Damien had taught her creative graphic design. She had imagined him being pleased for her. She had actively gone after the job and got it, an achievement she was sure would earn his approval. Finally.
She had tried so hard to get her life moving again in order to please him. She was proud of her efforts over the past two months. She had wanted Damien to be proud of her.
Disappointment wrenched her heart. This was her second bad mistake, letting another man like Brett get close to her. At least Damien wasn’t pressing any more questions on her. She was grateful for his silence as he accompanied her out to the covered driveway that serviced the hotel. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing more to say. Except goodbye. Forever.
‘Taxi?’ the doorman asked.
‘Please,’ Natalie answered.
‘We need to talk this through, Natalie,’ Damien murmured as the doorman moved forward to summon the first cab from the rank in the street below.
‘No point,’ she demurred.
‘You have some serious misconceptions...’
‘Mine have already been sorted out. Yours haven’t.’
‘Look at me!’ he commanded in exasperation.
‘I don’t want to.’
She kept her gaze steadfastly locked on the taxi turning slowly up the duel driveway, taking the lane closest to the hotel entrance. She couldn’t bear to see that blaze of desire in Damien’s eyes again. It reduced her to nothing but another potential conquest.
‘I’ve a lot to say to you,’ he burst out.
‘I’ve heard enough.’
‘You can’t dismiss five years in five minutes and reduce it to nothing, Natalie.’
‘Watch me.’
‘Give me the chance to explain. You owe me that.’
‘I didn’t ask you for anything, Damien. You gave it.’
‘You accepted it.’
‘Call me stupid. I didn’t understand what my role was,’ she said bitterly. ‘I didn’t realise I was supposed to become another bed partner.’
‘You’re the woman I want in my life.’