The doorbell rang and caused Elise to jump. Making her way to the front door, she peeked through the window to see Pam waiting. She didn’t know if she was relieved or sad, it had been three days since she walked away from Dmitri. Opening the door, she faked a smile and moved aside for Pam to come in. She was hiding in Jasper’s house, she hadn’t thought it safe to go home to the apartment she shared with Pam. Greg had no idea she was here, Elise had found out he was staying with a very rich banker’s daughter.
“Hey, thank you so much for bringing my stuff with you. I just think it’s safer to stay here for now.”
“Of course, don’t thank me. I brought us some pizza, you can thank me for that. I also need to talk to you about something.”
Elise took the pizza box as Pam set down the suitcase and took off her jacket. A frisson of fear went up her spine, she hadn’t seen Pam looking so serious in years. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s me. I’m the matter and I just want to say I’m sorry. The past few days made me see what a brat and drain on you I’ve been for years. You let me, but it wasn’t fair to either of us. I just want you to know that I’m going to do better from here on out. It kills me, you get back crying your eyes out over Dmitri, and while you’re crying, you’re worried about rent and me having a job. Don’t worry about the rent, I’m going to take care of it. I got a job, a good one, it has benefits and everything. I promise you, I won’t get fired.
I also have a horrible confession to make. Two years ago at your company Christmas party, I had sex with Greg. I could say I was drunk and stupid, but I wasn’t drunk enough that I didn’t know what I was doing. It was a horrible thing for me to do, knowing how you felt about him. I deserve it if you
don’t want anything to do with me.”
Elise picked out a few pieces of the pizza and sat at the breakfast table. “I’m glad to hear that Pam, I really am. Please don’t feel bad, like you said, I let you do it. And I know about you and Greg. I saw you, and it didn’t bother me then, and it doesn’t bother me now.”
Pam was stunned. “You knew?”
“Yes, and it didn’t bother me because it wasn’t Greg that I loved. Sure, I was sixteen and for maybe a year the crush was real, but after my great-aunt died, it became less about Greg and more about protection. Greg has never cared about anyone but himself. If Greg had ever turned to me with love in his eyes I would have run in the other direction. Losing my mom and Bernice so soon after one another, it made me want to stay safe from loving someone and then losing them again.
It’s taken the last few days being here in this house, desperate to figure out where I’m going, to realize I can’t move forward without figuring out how I came to be here. Saying I was in love with Greg was a way of keeping other men at bay, keeping myself away from anyone who might get close.”
Pam ignored the pizza and sat down across from Elise, “I am so relieved to hear that. I feel awful about what I did. There’s just one thing I have to ask you, if you figured that out, what are you doing here? Why haven’t you gone back to Dmitri? Don’t look at me like that, I know you. You wouldn’t have figured out all of that if you hadn’t also figured out you’re in love with Dmitri.”
“Loving Dmitri doesn’t make everything okay. I’m more terrified now than I was before. I love him, how and when it happened, I have no idea, but it did. Dmitri isn’t an easy man to love; he’s demanding, controlling, ruthless, and manipulative. He’s going to run rings around me without even working at it. He’s all of those things, but he’s never used them against me. Even when it would have been so easy, I wouldn’t have known it for what it was. That gives me hope about us, but I’m not sure if it’s because he’s being careful because I’m a virgin or if he cares enough to make this last.
How long will we last? Despite my fear about that, I’m willing to hang in until he tells me to go. You were right, I need to enjoy what we have, and when the time comes... I would rather have the memory of us than nothing at all. When he comes, I’ll go with him. Right now, he has to learn that he can’t order me around. If I give in too quickly, too easily, he’ll run over me for the rest of our time together.”
“Wow! It sounds like you’re going to have your hands full with him. Are you sure being with him is a good idea? Have you really thought it through, are you sure it’s love?”
“I’ve given it way too much thought, loving Dmitri won’t be easy, but in the end it will be worth it. Being without him isn’t really an option, it’s been three days, and every hour has felt like an eternity. Standing up to him won’t be easy, but Dmitri cares enough about me that he’ll give me what I ask for. His not manipulating me when he could have tells me that. The problem is he’s not crazy about me not bending to his every whim. I’ll just have to make sure I give him what he needs to be happy so that giving me what I need won’t be so hard for him.”
“Wow, look at us, being grown-ups is a lot harder than it seemed when we were in our teens, isn’t it?”
“Way harder, come on help me eat this.”
Several hours later, Elise walked Pam out the door and gave her a hug goodbye. Turning around, she was almost back to the kitchen to clean up their mess when the doorbell rang. Assuming it was Pam having forgotten something, she didn’t check before she opened the door. Dmitri took advantage of her surprise. His hand flat against the door, he pushed it open and stepped inside. Elise stumbled back and clung to the edge of the door to keep upright. It had only been three days since she saw him, but it felt like three months. Being so close to him set off every one of her senses and her body clenched with need.
“You have five minutes to get your things together or whatever isn’t packed stays here.” He looked at his watch. “Your time starts now.”
His insolent order gave her the strength to stand up straight and look him in the eye. “No. Not unless we get things settled. If you give me the right answers okay but if not you leave and you can forget we ever met.”
He turned and closed the door very softly, she had no warning. Dmitri turned and in a lighting motion had her against the wall of the foyer. Her feet didn’t touch the floor. His body held her up, a hand was wrapped around her throat in a grip that had her heart thumping painfully in her ears. She had gone too far in her bluff, she knew that now, and regretted it immediately.
“Forget we ever met? The very words make want to be violent. I want to beat you for saying them. I want to make it so that if you ever think about saying such words again you will bite your tongue until it bleeds.” His thumb caressed the throbbing pulse in the hollow of her neck. “You have pushed me beyond my own limits.”
“I’m sorry, Dmitri. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, it was a stupid bluff.” She whispered, her heart in her eyes.
Dmitri closed his eyes and fought for control. He felt her body soften against him, accepting him and he lost it. His hand slipped from her neck to the back of her head to draw her up to him. His lips found hers and all of the fear and anger that had been building inside him over the last three days came out. She answered him stroke for hungry stroke, she met him in need and it was the only thing that soothed him. Her passion matched his, her need was his need and she was his. He had to be inside her now.
Lifting his lips from hers, he breathed the question into her mouth, “Where’s your bedroom?”
Gasping for air, she could only point, and he tugged her after him, undoing his tie and shirt as he went. Now that they were in the bedroom, Elise’s fears began to stir again. Early afternoon light streamed into the room, she would be naked and there would be no shadows to hide in. Then she saw his bare chest and her thoughts of her own body vanished. He was so beautiful, ridges of muscle and sinew moved as he stepped out of his pants and then he pushed his briefs down and she froze in anticipation and fear. She remembered how hard and thick he felt in her mouth, would she really be able to take him into her body without pain?
“Elise, come here.” The words were spoken lightly, but it was a command and she moved toward him willingly. Hot, wet need flooded her body.
His hands were at her hips as he brought her even closer. Only inches separated them now. Slowly his hands moved up her body, taking the edge of the loose tee shirt with them. Sucking air in, Elise trembled as he brushed the sides of her breasts. Her arms went up as he pulled the shirt off completely. His hands again traveled down the length of her arms, back down to her breasts. Embarrassed at being back in her ill-fitting bra Elise wanted to look away but she couldn’t. A finger caressed the flesh above the Lycra, then down to her painfully hard nipples. She needed more, and moaned his name pleadingly. Reaching around her, he undid the catch with a single movement. With light sweeping touches, he moved the straps and followed the fabric down her arms and off completely.
When at last she was bare to him, he stilled and only stared at her breasts, tight, heavy, and aching for his touch. The quiet began to fill her with fear, why wasn’t he touching her, did he not like what he saw? Her hands went up to cover herself from his gaze, but he was quick and caught her wrists in his.